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Time spend by teenagers in certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007

Time spend by teenagers in certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007 756Q3
The bar chart illustrates the time spend by the teenagers doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007. Overall television is the most popular activity over the time period and the least popular activity is bowling. Going to pubs, shopping and watching TV has increased its number hours. The other pursuits showed decreased in hours, except watching DVDs which fluctuated. Teenagers spend about 25 hours of watching television in 2002, and it has increased to almost 40 hours in the final year. Both going to pubs and shopping steadily rose over th years, from above 5 hours to above 15 hours and from above 5 hours to exactly 15 hours respectively. While teenagers occupied 10 hours of doing homework in 2002 and it dropped over 5 hours in 2007. Playing sports fell more dramatically from 10 hours to 1 hour. Bowling was under 5 hours throughout the time period declining it by 4 hours in total.
The bar chart illustrates the time spend by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.

Overall
television is the most popular activity over the time period and the least popular activity is bowling. Going to pubs, shopping and watching TV has increased its number
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hours
. The other pursuits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
decreased in
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hours
, except watching DVDs which fluctuated.

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Teenagers
spend about 25
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hours
of watching television in 2002, and it has increased to almost 40
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hours
in the final year. Both going to pubs and shopping
steadily
rose over
Possible spelling mistake found.
th years
, from above 5
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hours
to above 15
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hours
and from above 5
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hours
to exactly 15
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hours
respectively
.

While
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teenagers
occupied 10
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hours
of doing homework in 2002 and it dropped over 5
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hours
in 2007. Playing sports fell more
dramatically
from 10
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hours
to 1
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hour
. Bowling was under 5
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hours
throughout the time period declining it by 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in total.
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IELTS academic Time spend by teenagers in certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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