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This diagram shows the manufacturing process of sweaters.

This diagram shows the manufacturing process of sweaters. 75mlk
The diagram compares the information about production of sweaters in clothing factory. Overall, all 16 steps are mandate, starting from yarn collection to shipment. If any of them missed the process will be halted. In the first stage, yarn collected form the suppliers as per the guidelines. The collection of yarn sent to yarn winding and distribution. After that distribution of knitting panels, where the sweaters knitting is done then it sent for online inspection of knitting panels for inspection. Once the online section is done it sent to linking panels through online inspection of linking panels. Next stage trimming, light checking and mending process. If any defect find it again sent back to yarn winding and distribution. Following this, holes are been made attaching the button simultaneously the sweaters are sent for washed, labelling and ironing. After all this stages, inspection is taking place by factory quality team. If everything is found good it sent for folding and packing and final inspection take place. Finally, sent for the shipment.
The diagram compares the information about production of sweaters in clothing factory.
Overall
, all 16 steps are mandate, starting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
yarn
collection to shipment.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
any of them missed the process will
be halted
.

In the
first
stage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
yarn
collected form the suppliers as per the guidelines. The collection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
yarn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
yarn
winding and distribution. After that distribution of knitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
panels
, where the sweaters knitting
is done
then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inspection
of knitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
panels
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inspection
.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
the online section
is done
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to linking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
panels
through online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inspection
of linking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
panels
.
Next
stage trimming, light checking and mending process. If any defect find it again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
yarn
winding and distribution.

Following this, holes
are been
made attaching the button
simultaneously
the sweaters are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for washed, labelling and ironing.
After all
this stages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inspection
is taking place by factory quality team. If everything
is found
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for folding and packing and final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inspection
take place.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for the shipment.
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IELTS academic This diagram shows the manufacturing process of sweaters.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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