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This chart shows the percentage of American adults who possess certain technological devices. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information presented in the chart.

This chart shows the percentage of American adults who possess certain technological devices. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information presented in the chart. KyGm9
This chart shows different technological devices own by American adults from 2000 to 2005. 
Frankly, cellphone is the best product compare with other eletronic devices, it rise up from 60 percent of American adults to 90 percent within 15 yaers. But cellphone is not the only product that growing rapidly, smartphone is another new technology which shows its potential to surpass cellphone. Bisdes these devices, laptop and tablet seems always in their own competition. At the beggining, the percentages of these two products are not much of different. However, laptop start become popular while tablet still own by almot same amounts of people. E-reader is something new that many people did not know its beauty of reading comfortably without push our eyes too hard to watch a tiny screen. Since then, people have another option to choose when they try to use technological device. 
As technology developing into something extraodinary, people love to buy the newest product in the market. This technology train is not going to stop, so before we spend too much money on devices, be aware of how the market work and choose what is the best for you!
This chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
by American adults from 2000 to 2005. 

Frankly
, cellphone is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
compare with other
Possible spelling mistake found.
eletronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, it
Did you mean "rises"?
rise
up from 60 percent of American adults to 90 percent within 15
Possible spelling mistake found.
yaers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
cellphone is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that growing
rapidly
, smartphone is another new technology which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
its potential to surpass cellphone.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bisdes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, laptop and tablet
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'seems'.
seems always
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
competition. At the
Possible spelling mistake found.
beggining
, the percentages of these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are not much of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
However
, laptop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
become popular while tablet
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
almot
same amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. E-reader is something new that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not know its beauty of reading
comfortably
without push our eyes too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a tiny screen. Since then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have another option to choose when they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
. 
As technology developing into something
Possible spelling mistake found.
extraodinary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the newest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the market. This technology train is not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we spend too much money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, be aware of how the market work and choose what is the best for you!
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IELTS academic This chart shows the percentage of American adults who possess certain technological devices. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information presented in the chart.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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