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different kind of mode of transport making trip during 1990 to 2010

different kind of mode of transport making trip during 1990 to 2010 nENKE
The following bar graph illustrate about the trips made by children in one country to travel to form school using different modes of transportation during the interval from 1990 to 2010. The age group of tavelling summarised is 5-12 years. First and formost, in 1990 travelling in car as form of passenger wer near about 4 million and in 2010 car carriage went drastically to 11 million. One of the most important and convienent way of transport is walking during 1990 about 12 million student were part of this summarisitation and about only 6 million people in 2010 are intrested in walking. The walking ration has been 50 percent decrease during 20 years. Cycling is best way to health and trip transportation and has unique position in travel. In 1990 6 million people were engaged in cycling and only 2 percent were intrested in cycling. Public transport is one of the another option and stands for local people. About 6 million student travel in order to save money in 1990 and 2 million student travel in bus as well as walking in 2010. Bus has one of the unique position in several mode of transportation for students about 7 millions student travel in 1990 and as same amount of 7 million student travel in bus served by goverment and private instution.
The following bar graph illustrate about the trips made by children in one country to
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travel
to form school using
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different
modes of transportation during the interval from 1990 to 2010. The age group of
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tavelling
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarised' is British English.
summarised
is 5-12 years.

First
and
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formost
, in 1990 travelling in car as form of passenger
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wer
near about 4
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million
and in 2010 car carriage went
drastically
to 11
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million
. One of the most
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important
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
convienent
way of transport is walking during 1990 about 12
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million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'student' seems to be countable, so consider using: "students".
student
were part of this
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summarisitation
and about
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only
6
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2010 are
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intrested
in walking. The walking ration has been 50 percent decrease during 20 years. Cycling
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
way to health and trip transportation and has unique position in
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travel
. In 1990 6
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were engaged
in cycling and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2 percent were
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrested
in cycling.

Public transport is one of the another option and stands for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. About 6
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million
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student
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travel
in order to save money in 1990 and 2
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million
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student
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travel
in bus
as well
as walking in 2010. Bus has one of the unique position in
Possible agreement error. The noun mode seems to be countable; consider using: "several modes".
several mode
of transportation for
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students
about 7
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millions
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student
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travel
in 1990 and as same amount of 7
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
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travel
in bus served by
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goverment
and private
Possible spelling mistake found.
instution
.
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IELTS academic different kind of mode of transport making trip during 1990 to 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
221 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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