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This bar graph shows the number of days lost due to injury per worker for three countries. There are three time periods shown beginning with the year 1991 and ending in 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information. You should write at least 150 words.

This bar graph shows the number of days lost due to injury per worker for three countries. There are three time periods shown beginning with the year 1991 and ending in 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information. BA9p
The bar graph shows number of days lost due to injury per worker in five different countries over a certain time period starting with 1991 and ending with 2005. From 1991 to 1995, China and Brazil lost 6 days which was the highest. The remaining three countries namely Germany, America, Korea lost nearly equal number of days that was around 3 days. Moving to next period of time that was from 1996 to 2000, China lost nearly 9 working days which was the highest. Following Brazil, America, Korea, Germany lost around 6, 3. 5, 3. 5, 3 days respectively. In the last period of time which was from 2001 to 2005, China was again the highest that lost 10 days followed by Brazil lost 7. 5 days. Both America and Brazil lost 5 days. Germany lost least days which were around 1. 5 in number. To conclude, China lost most working days in the given period of time. The country that lost least number of working days was Germany.
The bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
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number
of days
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lost
due to injury per worker in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries over a certain
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time
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period
starting with 1991 and ending with 2005. From 1991 to 1995, China and Brazil
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lost
6 days which was the highest. The remaining three countries
namely
Germany, America, Korea
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lost
nearly
equal
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number
of days that was around 3 days. Moving to
next
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period
of
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time
that was from 1996 to 2000, China
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lost
nearly
9 working days which was the highest. Following Brazil, America, Korea, Germany
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lost
around 6, 3. 5, 3. 5, 3 days
respectively
. In the last
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period
of
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time
which was from 2001 to 2005, China was again the highest that
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lost
10 days followed by Brazil
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lost
7. 5 days. Both America and Brazil
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lost
5 days. Germany
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lost
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
days which were around 1. 5 in
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number
.
To conclude
, China
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lost
most working days in the
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given
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period
of
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time
. The country that
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lost
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of working days was Germany.

IELTS academic This bar graph shows the number of days lost due to injury per worker for three countries. There are three time periods shown beginning with the year 1991 and ending in 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • This bar graph shows the number of days lost due to injury per worker for three countries. There are three time periods shown beginning with the year 1991 and ending in 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information. You should write at least 150 words.