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This bar chart demonstrates proportion of men and women in Australia who conducted regular physical excersices in 2010.

This bar chart demonstrates proportion of men and women in Australia who conducted regular physical excersices in 2010. peopel are categorized in distinct subsets based on their age. Overall, women contributed in mediocre physical leisures more than man in all age groups exept 15 to 24 yearsold women. In case of women, 47. 7 percent of young women between 15 to 24 yearsold did physical activity. However this percentage increases as the women get older and it peaks at 53. 3% for those who aged between 45 to 54 yearsold in 2010. As the age group continues to rise, normal physical activies tned to get less popular among women and merely 47. 1 percent of women excersise. On the other hand men had initiated medium level sport with a high enthusiasm and 52. 8 percent of them did regular sport activity in the reported year. Despite more than 50% tendency to excersise between 15 to 24 yearsold men, all other age groups contained less than half of the men interested in doing regular physical activities. Positive attitude to sport even decreases to less than 40 percent (39. 5% persicely) among 35 to 44 yearsold men and recording the least contribution in normal activities between all groups and both sexes. Furthermore, more than 65 yerasold Australian men also did less normal leisure in comparison to Australian women.
This bar chart demonstrates proportion of
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men
and
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women
in Australia who conducted regular
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physical
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excersices
in 2010.
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peopel
are categorized
in distinct subsets based on their
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age
.
Overall
,
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women
contributed in mediocre
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physical
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leisures
more than
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man
in all
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age
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groups
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exept
15 to 24
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yearsold
women.

In case of
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women
, 47. 7
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percent
of young
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women
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 15 to 24
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yearsold
did
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physical
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activity
.
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However
this percentage increases as the
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women
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get
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
older and
it peaks at 53. 3% for those who aged
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between 45 to 54
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yearsold
in 2010. As the
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age
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group
continues to rise, normal
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physical
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activies
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tned
to
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get
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less
popular among
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women
and
merely
47. 1
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percent
of
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women
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excersise
.

On the other hand
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men
had initiated medium level sport with a high enthusiasm and 52. 8
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percent
of them did regular sport
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activity
in the reported year. Despite more than 50% tendency to
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excersise
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 15 to 24
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yearsold
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men
, all other
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age
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groups
contained
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less
than half of the
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men
interested in doing regular
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physical
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activities
.
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Positive
attitude to sport even decreases to
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less
than 40
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percent
(39. 5%
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persicely
) among 35 to 44
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yearsold
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men
and recording the least contribution in normal
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activities
between all
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groups
and both sexes.
Furthermore
, more than 65
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yerasold
Australian
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men
also
did
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less
normal leisure
in comparison
to Australian
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women
.
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IELTS academic This bar chart demonstrates proportion of men and women in Australia who conducted regular physical excersices in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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