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These days people are facing with rapidly increased the number of ads from various comparative companies. Obviously, ads are influenced both positive and negative to consumers

These days people are facing with rapidly increased the number of ads from various comparative companies. Obviously, ads are influenced both positive and negative to consumers n1EVg
These days people are facing with rapidly increased the number of ads from various comparative companies. Obviously, ads are influenced both positive and negative to consumers. However, the companies using these tool ads to directly approach theirs customers and take it as strategy. Popular channels that used such as: television show, public electric panel, and social media. , etc. There are so many different reason to given are listed: Firstly, all those tool are used deceased nowadays. People intends to less using electric equipment because of its affected disease. Otherwise, intensely abuse those tool to dying with them while walking, on the way to work, bus station, airport. Each time they click on ad ads, the company are able to statistic and analysis data collected to domain machine. For example, 100 people look at the electric panel in elevator, however 10 people starts to searching its ads on safari or chrome browser and finally 2 people decided to buy thing through the ads. Secondly, this modern century more joyful and spend time to relax like travelling, or others businessman busy with their schedule. While sitting on priority louge the businessman can work, or somehow he does a research through public computer and many electric ads panel with time lapse surfing on the internet and see an ads meanwhile. For instance, Each 1000 businessman like him, may have 5 people click on that ads, and 20 people click on that ad will have 2 people decided to buy stuff. Finally, analysis team of companies are easy to approach measurement the number of consumer reaction on its ads for each strategy. In conclusion, advertisements is still good method to approach the number large of consumers even on short or long term of business. Furthermore, information technology developing helps the company manages and figure out how effective ads each campaign. Especially using social media tool like ads.
These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing with
rapidly
increased the number of ads from various comparative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Obviously
, ads
are influenced
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
to consumers.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
ads to
directly
approach theirs customers and take it as strategy. Popular channels that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
such as: television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
panel, and social media.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
etc. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
are listed
:

Firstly
, all those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
deceased nowadays.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
intends
to less using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
equipment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
disease.
Otherwise
,
intensely
abuse those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
to dying with them while walking, on the way to work, bus station, airport. Each time they click on ad ads, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
are able to statistic and analysis data collected to domain machine.
For example
, 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
panel in elevator,
however
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
starts
to searching its ads on safari or
The proper noun "Chrome" (= software from Google) needs to be capitalized.
chrome
browser and
finally
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
thing through the ads.

Secondly
, this modern century more joyful and spend time to relax like travelling, or others businessman busy with their schedule. While sitting on priority
Possible spelling mistake found.
louge
the businessman can work, or somehow he does
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
through public computer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
ads panel with
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time lapse
surfing on the internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an ads meanwhile.
For instance
, Each 1000 businessman like him, may have 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
click on that ads, and 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
click on that ad will have 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff.
Finally
, analysis team of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are easy to approach measurement the number of consumer reaction on its ads for each strategy.

In conclusion
, advertisements is
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method to approach the number large of consumers even on short or long term of business.
Furthermore
, information technology developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
manages and figure out how effective ads each campaign.
Especially
using social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
like ads.
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IELTS academic These days people are facing with rapidly increased the number of ads from various comparative companies. Obviously, ads are influenced both positive and negative to consumers

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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