Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

describing the information shown

describing the information shown OwbGE
The graphs show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia. As you can see in 1975 employment in Freedonia by sex in 6 sectors. Women number of employees are very lower than men. Public sector is highest number of this sectors. Manufacturing is almost equal to wholesale and retail trade. Communications is 10% of lower Finance/banking. Public sector is lowest number of this graph. However, in 1995, manufacturing sector isn't high. Communications, finance banking, public women increase than men. In addition, in 1975 there aren't many women of employees. Although, in 1995 men almost grow. And women increased fast.
The graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
of the Republic of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in 1975 employment in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
by sex in 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of employees are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lower than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. Manufacturing is almost equal to wholesale and retail trade. Communications
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
is
10% of lower Finance/banking. Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of this graph.
However
, in 1995, manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
isn't high. Communications, finance banking, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
increase than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
In addition
, in 1975 there aren't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of employees.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, in 1995
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
almost grow. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.

IELTS academic describing the information shown

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • describing the information shown