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The two pie charts shows the percentage of countries contribution to turkey economy in 2000 and 2016

The two pie charts shows the percentage of countries contribution to turkey economy in 2000 and 2016 JLBdE
The two pie charts describe how the different industry sectors contribute to the economy of turkey percentagewise in the years of 2000 and 2016. Overall, at the beginning of period agriculture contributed the most to the economy while construction was the least significant part of the economic sector. In comparison, at the end of period healthcare and education was the largest economic segment and the lowest contribution was made up by finance, business and other services. Construction accounted for only 3 % of Turkey economy in 2000 and experienced the almost three-time boom to 10% in 2016. Economic income from trade, utilities and transportation was 14% in 2000 and had a slightly growth of 2% in 2016. Manufacturing, finance, business and other industries made up 8 % and 5% of turkey’s economy respectively, in 2000 and these figures rose to 14% and 8% at the end of year. Agriculture comprised almost a quarter of turkey’s economy in 2000 and it showed steady decline to 14% in 2016. In the beginning of period, economic output from government, leisure and hospitality was 12% and 17% respectively and both decreased by 3% after 16 years. In contrast, contribution from healthcare and education remained constant in both the years.
The two pie charts
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describe
how the
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different
industry sectors contribute to the
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economy
of
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turkey
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percentagewise
in the years of 2000 and 2016.

Overall
, at the beginning of period agriculture contributed the most to the
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economy
while construction was the least significant part of the
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economic
sector.
In comparison
, at the
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end
of period healthcare and education was the largest
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economic
segment and the lowest contribution
was made
up by finance, business and other services.

Construction accounted for
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only
3 % of Turkey
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economy
in 2000 and experienced the almost three-time boom to 10% in 2016.
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Economic
income from trade, utilities and transportation was 14% in 2000 and had a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('growth') instead of another adjective.
slightly growth
of 2% in 2016. Manufacturing, finance, business and other industries made up 8 % and 5% of
Did you mean the country "Turkey" (which needs to be capitalized)?
turkey
’s
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economy
respectively
, in 2000 and these figures rose to 14% and 8% at the
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end
of year.

Agriculture comprised almost a quarter of
Did you mean the country "Turkey" (which needs to be capitalized)?
turkey
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in 2000 and it
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showed
steady decline to 14% in 2016. In the beginning of period,
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economic
output from
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government
, leisure and hospitality was 12% and 17%
respectively
and both decreased by 3% after 16 years.
In contrast
, contribution from healthcare and education remained constant in both the years.
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IELTS academic The two pie charts shows the percentage of countries contribution to turkey economy in 2000 and 2016

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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