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The two pie charts show what makes people happy.

The two pie charts show what makes people happy. G30VL

The two given pie charts give an account of individual's distinct activities which becomes the reason of their happiness also these are divided into 2 age groups. It's clear from the first glance that doing hobbies bring happiness to both age groups and there has been shown just a little difference in their percentage (22% of under 30 and 24% of over 30). As well as, it's also similar with one more thing and that is achievement of work which is also the greatest cause of making them happy (31% and 32%). In the matter of other factors, people of under age 30 seems 4% more happy to do this than other age group(10%). However, taking a look at others, travelling (15%) and having a good appearance (18%) have been found major reasons for folk's happy faces and these are adults, they say that because of their financial security it make them 20% jubilant. While, being with family is the cause of their rest 14% happiness. Overall, despite some differences in the reasons there are 3 same factors which put good impact on these group's mood.

The two This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 pie charts give an account of individual's distinct activities which becomes the reason of their happiness also
 these are divided
 into 2 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 groups.

It's This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 from the first
 glance that doing hobbies bring happiness to both You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 groups and there has been shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
little
 difference in their percentage (22% of under 30 and 24% of over 30). As well
 as, it's also
 similar with one more thing and that is
 achievement of work which is also
 the greatest cause of making them happy (31% and 32%). In the matter of other factors, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 of under You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 30 seems 4% more happy to do this than other You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 group(10%).

However
, taking a look at others, travelling (15%) and having a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 appearance (18%) have been found
 major reasons for folk's happy faces and these are adults, they say that This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 of their financial security it Did you mean "makes"?makes
make
 them 20% jubilant. “While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, being with family is the cause of their rest 14% happiness.

Overall
, despite This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 differences in the reasons there are 3 same factors which put This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 impact on these Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "groups"?groups
group's
 mood. 