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The two pie charts illustrate why British do migration to and from during a question period.

The two pie charts illustrate why British do migration to and from during a question period. 6xKj0
The two pie charts illustrate some contributing factors which led to immigration and emigration of people in the year 2007 in the UK. Overall, what can be observed from the charts is that a bulk of people migrated in order to find a definite occupation. Looking at the detail, the proportion of people who immigrated and emigrated to accompany someone was 15% and 13% respectively. More than a quarter of immigrants (26%) stated educational purpose as a main reason whereas a very small number of the British (4%) left the UK to pursue formal study. About 30% of people both immigrated to and emigrated from the UK to have a definite job. Furthermore, percentage of emigrants who went from the UK seeking for jobs was 10% higher than proportion of immigrants for the same factor. However, more than one in twenty of people didn’t mention any reason why they came to the UK and the ratio for emigrants was 18%. Finally, the percentage of people who indicated other causes for immigration was 11% while the proportion of emigration for that was 14%.
The two pie charts illustrate
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some
contributing factors which led to immigration and emigration of
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people
in the year 2007 in the UK.

Overall
, what can
be observed
from the charts is that a bulk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrated in order to find a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
occupation.

Looking at the detail, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who immigrated and emigrated to accompany someone was 15% and 13%
respectively
. More than a quarter of immigrants (26%) stated educational purpose as a main reason whereas a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of the British (4%)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the UK to pursue formal study. About 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
both immigrated to and emigrated from the UK to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
job.

Furthermore
, percentage of emigrants who went from the UK seeking for jobs was 10% higher than proportion of immigrants for the same factor.
However
, more than one in twenty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn’t mention any reason why they came to the UK and the ratio for emigrants was 18%.
Finally
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who indicated other causes for immigration was 11% while the proportion of emigration for that was 14%.

IELTS academic The two pie charts illustrate why British do migration to and from during a question period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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