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The two bar graphs illustrate the information about the proportion of early rainfall in America's two cities Washington (DC) and Victoria.

The two bar graphs illustrate the information about the proportion of early rainfall in America's two cities Washington (DC) and Victoria. aqBwo
The two bar graphs illustrate the information about the proportion of early rainfall in America's two cities Washington (DC) and Victoria. Overall we can see that the highest figure in Victoria for rainfall is in November and December. And the lowest is in July. However the figures are vacillate in Washington (DC). In Washington The highest rainfall is in may month. And the lowest is in February. In Victoria the quantity of recorded rainfall is approximately 82 mm in January and it decrease steadily for the next six months and reached at the lowest point 16mm. In addition it increase and arrive as good as 50mm in October. After that it surged rapidly and arrived at its peak point above 100mm. In Washington (DC) the relatively amount of rainfall is 81mm in the month January. In February it is on its lowest at almost 62mm and in may it's reached upto it's peak at about 98mm after that the rainfall quantity fluctuated next 7 months and it catch up at 78mm in December.
The two bar graphs illustrate the information about the proportion of early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
in America's two cities Washington (DC) and Victoria.

Overall
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the highest figure in Victoria for
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rainfall
is in November and December. And the
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lowest
is in July.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the figures are
Consider using a past participle here: "vacillated".
vacillate
in Washington (DC). In Washington The highest
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rainfall
is in
The month "May" needs to be capitalized.
may
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month
. And the
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lowest
is in February.

In Victoria the quantity of recorded
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rainfall
is approximately 82 mm in January and it
Did you mean "decreases"?
decrease
steadily
for the
next
six
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months
and reached at the
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lowest
point
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "16 mm"
16mm
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, it".
addition it
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
and arrive as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "50 mm"
50mm
in October. After that it surged
rapidly
and arrived at its peak point above
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "100 mm"
100mm
.

In Washington (DC) the
relatively
amount of
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rainfall
is
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "81 mm"
81mm
in the
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month
January. In
The comma is probably missing here: "February, it".
February it
is on its
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lowest
at almost
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "62 mm"
62mm
and in may it's reached
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
it's peak at about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "98 mm"
98mm
after that the
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rainfall
quantity fluctuated
next
7
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months
and it
Did you mean "catches"?
catch
up at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "78 mm"
78mm
in December.

IELTS academic The two bar graphs illustrate the information about the proportion of early rainfall in America's two cities Washington (DC) and Victoria.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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