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The two bar charts in combination manifest an alternation in graduation and post-graduation patterns in UK of 4 different categories after college completion in 2008

The two bar charts in combination manifest an alternation in graduation and post-graduation patterns in UK of 4 different categories after college completion in 2008 d3Vwd
The two bar charts in combination manifest an alternation in graduation and post-graduation patterns in UK of 4 different categories after college completion in 2008 Overall, there was an intricately relevant with regard to the work-based criteria between UK graduates and postgraduates. It is noticeably reflected in the illustrations the further study students made up the uppermost contribution to the both graduated and post-graduated students, whilst the opposite trend was true for students who were doing work voluntarily. As can be observed, over 3, 500 students opted for studying further, yet the feature abruptly dwindled by 10 times at the voluntary work of post-graduate students. This figure was statistically low from the proportion of unemployed students, whose data undergone the slide from 16, 235 in graduated students initially Concerning the contrasting movement, there was a massive gap between the further study and part-time work in terms of UK post-graduate destinations, which generated fervently discrepancy between the two group of surveyed participation when it became wider with an exponential escalated by 10 times as compared to that of UK postgraduate students. (178 words)
The two bar charts in combination manifest an alternation in graduation and post-graduation patterns in UK of 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories after college completion in 2008

Overall
, there was an
intricately
relevant with regard to the work-based criteria between UK graduates and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
. It is
noticeably
reflected in the illustrations the
further
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
made up the uppermost contribution to the both graduated and post-graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, whilst the opposite trend was true for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who were doing work
voluntarily
.

As can
be observed
, over 3, 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opted for studying
further
,
yet
the feature
abruptly
dwindled by 10 times at the voluntary work of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post-graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This figure was
statistically
low from the proportion of unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, whose data undergone the slide from 16, 235 in graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
initially


Concerning the contrasting movement, there was a massive gap between the
further
study and part-time work in terms of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post-graduate
destinations, which generated
fervently
discrepancy between the two group of surveyed participation when it became wider with an exponential escalated by 10 times as compared to that of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. (178 words)
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IELTS academic The two bar charts in combination manifest an alternation in graduation and post-graduation patterns in UK of 4 different categories after college completion in 2008

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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