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The graph below gives information about the percentage of tourists visiting different countries in 2010

The graph below gives information about the percentage of tourists visiting different countries in 2010 B7m95
The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited four different nations such as Singapore, Vietnam, Italy and Britain in 2010. It is clearly observed that the percentage of males visiting Singapore was the highest among other countries while the female visitors’ was the lowest. The figures for tourists travelling to Singapore recorded the most dramatic gap between two genders. It is also obvious that the rates of males visiting Singapore and Vietnam were higher than females while the figures for visitors who went to Britain and Italy showed a different pattern. In 2010, the percentage of males visiting Singapore was much higher than females’ one, at 90% and 10% respectively. Similaly, the number of males travelling to Vietnam was higher, accounting for approximately 55%, followed by figure for females, at about 45%. On the other hand, the proportion of females visiting Italy was 60%, compared to only 40% for males. Likewise, there was nearly 80% of Britain’s visitors were women, which was about four times higher than the figure for males (20%) and it made Britain become the most popular country for females among four nations surveyed.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations such as Singapore, Vietnam, Italy and Britain in 2010.

It is
clearly
observed that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
visiting Singapore was the highest among other countries while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
visitors’ was the lowest. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for tourists travelling to Singapore recorded the most dramatic gap between two genders. It is
also
obvious that the rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
visiting Singapore and Vietnam were higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for visitors who went to Britain and Italy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pattern.

In 2010, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
visiting Singapore was much higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females’
one, at 90% and 10%
respectively
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Similaly
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
travelling to Vietnam was higher, accounting for approximately 55%, followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
, at about 45%.

On the other hand
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
visiting Italy was 60%, compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
40% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
Likewise
, there was
nearly
80% of Britain’s visitors were women, which was about four times higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
(20%) and it made Britain become the most popular country for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
among four nations surveyed.
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IELTS academic The graph below gives information about the percentage of tourists visiting different countries in 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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