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the three various countries in term of proportion of the three economic sectors (Agriculture,Industry,Service) were contributed to X country in three consecutive years, starting from 2016.

the three various countries in term of proportion of the three economic sectors (Agriculture, Industry, Service) were contributed to X country in three consecutive years, starting from 2016. 2ad5J
The given table compare the three various countries in term of proportion of the three economic sectors (Agriculture, Industry, Service) were contributed to X country in three consecutive years, starting from 2016. The general overview here is that the number of the Agriculture sector and the industry sector were increase, While the service sector’s percentage was decrease over the period given. In 2016, the service sector produced 65 per cent of GDP, Whereas the agricultural and the industry sectors produced around 13 percent and 22 per cent of the GDP respectively. Over the following year, the percentage of the agriculture dropped slightly by 2 per cent. Similarly the service sector’s GDP fell a mere 1 per cent, On the other hand, the GDP of the industry sector rose minimally by 3 per cent. By 2018, the GDP of the agriculture sector went up by 4per cent, and the number of GDP of the industry sector growth up steadily around 5 per cent. The service sector, on the contrary, its percentage declined significantly by 9 pen cent. However, it still was the highest amount of the total GDP percentage.
The
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given
table compare the three various countries in term of proportion of the three economic
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sectors
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(Agriculture
,
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Industry
,
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Service)
were contributed
to X country in three consecutive years, starting from 2016. The general overview here is that the number of the
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Agriculture
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sector
and the
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industry
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sector
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
increase, While the
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service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was decrease over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

In 2016, the
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service
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sector
produced 65 per cent of GDP, Whereas the agricultural and the
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industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
produced around 13 percent and 22 per cent of the GDP
respectively
. Over the following year, the
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percentage
of the
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agriculture
dropped
slightly
by 2 per cent.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
the
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service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector’s
GDP fell a mere 1 per cent,
On the other hand
, the GDP of the
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industry
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sector
rose
minimally
by 3 per cent.

By 2018, the GDP of the
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agriculture
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sector
went up by 4per cent, and the number of GDP of the
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industry
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sector
growth up
steadily
around 5 per cent. The
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service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
,
on the contrary
, its
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percentage
declined
significantly
by 9 pen
Possible agreement error. The noun 'cent' seems to be countable, so consider using: "cents".
cent
.
However
, it
still
was the highest amount of the total GDP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
.
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IELTS academic the three various countries in term of proportion of the three economic sectors (Agriculture, Industry, Service) were contributed to X country in three consecutive years, starting from 2016.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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