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The tables illustrate how many people visited Ashdown Museum, besides this, the two pie charts provide a conclusion of a poll of visitors satisfaction in a year before and after reconstruction.

The tables illustrate how many people visited Ashdown Museum, besides this, the two pie charts provide a conclusion of a poll of visitors satisfaction in a year before and after reconstruction. 0Em8B
The tables illustrate how many people visited Ashdown Museum, besides this, the two pie charts provide a conclusion of a poll of visitors satisfaction in a year before and after reconstruction. Overall, the number of visitors after rebuilding had increased, and the average level of satisfaction across museum comers rose as well. In the year before refurbishment total number of visitors was 74000, however, only 15% and 30% of them were very satisfied or answered well about their visit. In contrast, after reconstruction quantity of comers climbed to the value of 92000 also, more than one-third were very satisfied and 40% liked the museum. The number of very dissatisfied and visitors that did not like the museum made up half of the votes at the beginning of the period, nevertheless, this value declined significantly to only one-fifth. Also, the number of people that did not respond to the surveys remained the same for both years (5%).
The tables illustrate how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited
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Ashdown
Museum,
besides
this, the two pie charts provide a conclusion of a poll of
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visitors
satisfaction in a year
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before
and after reconstruction.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
after rebuilding had increased, and the average level of satisfaction across museum comers rose
as well
.

In the year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
refurbishment total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
was 74000,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% and 30% of them were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfied or answered well about their visit.
In contrast
, after reconstruction quantity of comers climbed to the value of 92000
also
, more than one-third were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfied and 40% liked the museum.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
that did not like the museum made up half of the votes at the beginning of the period,
nevertheless
, this value declined
significantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one-fifth.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that did not respond to the surveys remained the same for both years (5%).
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IELTS academic The tables illustrate how many people visited Ashdown Museum, besides this, the two pie charts provide a conclusion of a poll of visitors satisfaction in a year before and after reconstruction.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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