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employment rates by sector

employment rates by sector NlnbN

3) a glance at the graph provided reveals some striking similarities between the Public and Self-employed sector's employment rates during the period from 2000 to 2010. The public sector began at just under 40 percent, after which it witnessed some fluctuations during 2003 to 2005 around 45 percent, and Then there was a slight upward trend in this sector during the last 5 years to somewhere about 52 percent. The self-employed sector began with minimal growth. Despite a steady fall, it underwent a remarkable increase to 30 percent in 2009 and 2010. the private sector plunged dramatically from approximately 48 percent to 20 percent Over a ten-year period, during which it levelled off at roughly 40 percent for two years between 2002 and 2003.

3) a glance at the graph provided reveals This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 striking similarities between the Public and Self-employed sector's employment rates during the period from 2000 to 2010. The public You use this word too often, consider replacing it withregionpartdistrictzone
sector
 began at This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 under 40 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeeratiobonusproportionchunkrate
percent
, after which it witnessed This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 fluctuations during 2003 to 2005 around 45 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeeratiobonusproportionchunkrate
percent
, and Then there was a slight upward trend in this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withregionpartdistrictzone
sector
 during the last 5 years to somewhere about 52 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeeratiobonusproportionchunkrate
percent
. The self-employed You use this word too often, consider replacing it withregionpartdistrictzone
sector
 began with minimal growth. Despite a steady fall, it underwent a remarkable increase to 30 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeeratiobonusproportionchunkrate
percent
 in 2009 and 2010. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterThe
the
 private You use this word too often, consider replacing it withregionpartdistrictzone
sector
 plunged dramatically
 from approximately 48 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeeratiobonusproportionchunkrate
percent
 to 20 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeeratiobonusproportionchunkrate
percent
 Over a ten-year period, during which it levelled off at roughly 40 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeeratiobonusproportionchunkrate
percent
 for two years between 2002 and 2003. 

IELTS academic employment rates by sector

Academic

American English

1 paragraphs

124 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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