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The table shows the number of men and female in present studies in Britain in three periods and whether they are studying full time or part time

The table shows the number of men and female in present studies in Britain in three periods and whether they are studying full time or part time 865gV
The table illustrate the number of male and female in upcoming studies in britain in three periods and whether they are studying full time or part time The most eye-catching feature to be note that is, part time education done by men and women is slightly high all three periods where the data of full time is slightly low. To begin with, if we noticed in first period in 1970/71 so it's range is about 1000 in part time and 100 in full time complete d by men on the other hand, in first period in 1970/71 so it's quantity is up to 700 in part time and 50 in full time which is done by female. Furthermore, in 1980/81 the number of male in upcoming education pattern so its range is about 700 and 100 in part time and full time respectively and by female it is just increased by 100 in part time and 150 in full time which is done in 1980/81. To sum up, however, 1990/91, the education in Britain by male figure so that's ratio is up to 900 in part time and 210 in full time. Moreover, 1990/91 if we compare the whole data, so the part time education is about 1100 which is completed by female figure or the same as 200 in 1990/91
The table
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the number of male and
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female
in upcoming studies in
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britain
in three
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periods
and whether they are studying
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full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or
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part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
The most eye-catching feature to be note
that is
,
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part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
done by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women is
slightly
high all three
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periods
where the data of
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full
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time
is
slightly
low. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if we noticed in
first
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period
in 1970/71
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's range is about 1000 in
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part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and 100 in
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full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
complete d by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
on the other hand
, in
first
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period
in 1970/71
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's quantity is up to 700 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and 50 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which
is done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
Furthermore
, in 1980/81 the number of male in upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
pattern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its range is about 700 and 100 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
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full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
respectively
and by
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female
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
increased by 100 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and 150 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which
is done
in 1980/81. To sum up,
however
, 1990/91, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in Britain by male figure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that's ratio is up to 900 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and 210 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Moreover
, 1990/91 if we compare the whole data,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is about 1100 which
is completed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
figure or the same as 200 in 1990/91
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IELTS academic The table shows the number of men and female in present studies in Britain in three periods and whether they are studying full time or part time

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
220 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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