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The line chart shows the sale of films and games of a company in japan during given period of 2010.

The line chart shows the sale of films and games of a company in japan during given period of 2010. mX18q
The given line graph illustrates the data about how many movies and games were sold by a firm in Japan in the given time period of 2010. The units are measured in numbers. Overall, the highest sale of games was in the month of June, while the sale of films was the most in January during 2010. According to the provided presentation, there were almost 600 films which were sold by Japan in January, but in February, it decreased to just under 500. Moreover, in the next month, the selling of movies were slightly over 400 whereas, it declined gradually in the upcoming years (near about 450). As can be observed in the statistics that in January, 400 games were sold by Japan, whilst a significant surge was seen in the sale of games in the next month. Furthermore, in April, the selling of games were 600, but in the month of May and June, the sale of games increased steeply.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the data about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
movies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were sold
by a firm in Japan in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period of 2010. The units
are measured
in numbers.

Overall
, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of June, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of films was the most in January during 2010.

According to the provided presentation, there were almost 600 films which
were sold
by Japan in January,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in February, it decreased to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 500.
Moreover
, in the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
, the selling of movies were
slightly
over 400 whereas, it declined
gradually
in the upcoming years (near about 450).

As can
be observed
in the statistics that in
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "January 400".
January, 400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were sold
by Japan, whilst a significant surge was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
.
Furthermore
, in April, the selling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were 600,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of May and June, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
increased
steeply
.
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IELTS academic The line chart shows the sale of films and games of a company in japan during given period of 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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