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The table shows the number of fatal, serious and slight injuries from gun and knief crime in great Britain from 1998 to2007and the percentage increase for each degree of injury over the period

The table shows the number of fatal, serious and slight injuries from gun and knief crime in great Britain from 1998 to2007and the percentage increase for each degree of injury over the period kVa8
The tabular chart illustrates the information about the data of various injuries which people suffered due to gun and knife attacks. Also, it reveals proportion growth for all three degrees of injuries. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the maximum number of injuries was registered in slight injuries, whereas the count of fatal was lower as compared to other injuries. It is evident from the table chart that count of fatal, shootings has dropped in last four years, except 2006 and 2007. Opposite to this, figures for minor incidents were high staring from 653 and reaching upto 3296 in 2005. Furthermore, number of serious injuries was rose with the growth of 194%. It is interesting to notice that such cases declined when minor cases were at peak in year 2005.
The tabular chart illustrates the information about the data of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffered due to gun and knife attacks.
Also
, it reveals proportion growth for all three degrees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
.
Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
was registered
in slight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
, whereas the count of fatal was lower
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
. It is evident from the table chart that count of fatal, shootings has dropped in last four years, except 2006 and 2007. Opposite to this, figures for minor incidents were high staring from 653 and reaching
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
3296 in 2005.
Furthermore
, number of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
was rose with the growth of 194%. It is interesting to notice that such cases declined when minor cases were at peak in year 2005.
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IELTS academic The table shows the number of fatal, serious and slight injuries from gun and knief crime in great Britain from 1998 to2007and the percentage increase for each degree of injury over the period

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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