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The table show the percentage of young people who are employed in different sectors in one country in 2005 and 2010.

The table show the percentage of young people who are employed in different sectors in one country in 2005 and 2010. 5plV
The given tabular chart is illustrates the information about the ratio of the young employees in various employment sectors in a particular country from 2005 to 2010. Overview, it is clear that, agriculture, business, shops restaurant and hotels, and other the ratio of employment in youth was increased. However, manufacturing, social service and transport the employment of young people was decreased. In 2005, the employment rate of young people in agriculture field that was 5%. it was decreased with 3% in 2010. Same trend followed by the business sector that was also increased with time 7% in 2005 and 10% in 2010, respectively. The percentage of young employment was recorded 20% in 2005 in the field of shops restaurants and hotels. It is high demand of job in youth and which reached 32% in 2010 it was increased 12%. However, in the field of manufacturing the interest of young people decline with the time. It was at 21% in 2005, but it fell down at 14% in 2010. Second most favourite job of youth is social service with 34% in 2005 and it was declined 11% in 2010. Transport employment rate in youth was similar with small margin.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
tabular chart is illustrates the information about the ratio of the
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young
employees in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
sectors in a particular country from 2005 to 2010.

Overview, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, agriculture, business, shops restaurant and hotels, and other the ratio of
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employment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
was increased
.
However
, manufacturing, social service and transport the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was decreased
.

In 2005, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in agriculture field that was 5%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
was decreased
with 3% in 2010. Same trend followed by the business sector that was
also
increased with time 7% in 2005 and 10% in 2010,
respectively
. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
was recorded
20% in 2005 in the field of shops restaurants and hotels. It is high demand of job in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
and which reached 32% in 2010 it
was increased
12%.

However
, in the field of manufacturing the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decline with the time. It was at 21% in 2005,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it fell down at 14% in 2010. Second most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
job of
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youth
is social service with 34% in 2005 and it
was declined
11% in 2010. Transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
was similar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
margin.
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IELTS academic The table show the percentage of young people who are employed in different sectors in one country in 2005 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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