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The table presents information about university level academic staff in one country

The table presents information about university level academic staff in one country Ar6xx
The table below gives information about how many staff worked in university by subject area in 2005 and 2013. Overall, the number of university staff marginally decreased by 7 subjects, while the number of teachers of other 2 subjects increased slightly during the period, though the number of medical teacher rised in a faster rate. The overall rise in number of mental subject teacher was significant. In subject as business it started from 23128 teachers to 28769 teachers between 2005 and 2013. The similar inverse could be observed in number of education teachers. The figures for teachers of education slowly went down by almost 3 percent during whole period.
The table below gives information about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a plural noun after 'many' or use "staff members".
staff
worked in university by
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subject
area in 2005 and 2013.
Overall
, the
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number
of university staff
marginally
decreased by 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
of other 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
increased
slightly
during the period, though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
in a faster rate. The
overall
rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
was significant. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
as business it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 23128
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to 28769
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
between 2005 and 2013. The similar inverse could
be observed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. The figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
of education
slowly
went down by almost 3 percent during whole period.
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IELTS academic The table presents information about university level academic staff in one country

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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