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the bar chart shows the numbers of men and women attendingvarious evening courses at an adult education center in the year 2009.

the bar chart shows the numbers of men and women attendingvarious evening courses at an adult education center in the year 2009. GM0Xe
The bar chart depicts how many participants enrolled in drama, painting, sculpture, and language courses at an educational facility in 2009. By contrast, the pie chart conveys information about the age of the attendants who were divided into five age groups. Firstly, the most striking feature is that the most popular lessons were language and painting. It can be noticed that the language course had the highest number of attendants that stood at 60 of which 20 were men and the number of women was double. On the other hand, the least popular courses were drama and sculpture which had some 30 and 15 participants, respectively. Interestingly, the number of women exceeded the number of men in all classes, except for the sculpture class. Secondly, it is clear from the data depicted by the pie chart that the evening courses were more appealing to adults age 50 or over. Next, that age range was followed by the 40-49 and 30-39 age groups at 26% and 16%, respectively. Finally, the group of people who were the least interested in attending evening lessons were those aged 20-29 and below 20. It can be deduced that 42% of participants who enrolled in the above-mentioned courses were aged 50 and above, according to the data illustrated by both pie and bar charts. In conclusion, the language course was the most popular in contrast to the sculpture course which was the least favored. Moreover, the number of women attending lessons far exceeded the number of men in three out of four classes. Furthermore, adults older than 50 displayed the highest interest, while people under the age of 20 showed almost no interest in evening courses.
The bar chart depicts how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
participants enrolled in drama, painting,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sculpture
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
at an educational facility in 2009. By contrast, the pie chart conveys information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the attendants who
were divided
into five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

Firstly
, the most striking feature is that the most popular lessons were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and painting. It can
be noticed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of attendants that stood at 60 of which 20 were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women was double.
On the other hand
, the least popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
were drama and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sculpture
which had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
30 and 15 participants,
respectively
.
Interestingly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women exceeded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in all classes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sculpture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

Secondly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the data depicted by the pie chart that the evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
were more appealing to adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
50 or over.
Next
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range
was followed
by the 40-49 and 30-39
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups at 26% and 16%,
respectively
.
Finally
, the group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were the least interested in attending evening lessons were those aged 20-29 and below 20. It can
be deduced
that 42% of participants who enrolled in the above-mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
were aged
50 and above, according to the data illustrated by both pie and bar charts.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
was the most popular
in contrast
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sculpture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
which was the least favored.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women attending lessons far exceeded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in three out of four classes.
Furthermore
, adults older than 50 displayed the highest interest, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 20
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
almost no interest in evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
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IELTS academic the bar chart shows the numbers of men and women attendingvarious evening courses at an adult education center in the year 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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