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The table garph illustrates the survey results of Scottish adults by their age, whether they had participated in various cultures activities in last year.

The table garph illustrates the survey results of Scottish adults by their age, whether they had participated in various cultures activities in last year. xqab
The table garph illustrates the survey results of Scottish adults by their age, whether they had participated in various cultures activities in last year. Overall, it is clear that the most number of young peoples were highly participated in Dance, singing, playing musical instruments and acting. However, their involved very less in computer based than other activities. Asper the Any performance, the most number of youth were participated (35%). Whereas, the less number of youth had taken part in computer based was 10% only. With regard the undertaking any crafts, the number of elder peoples (45-74) were involved extremely high 22% than other age groups. However, only few (45-74) aged peoples were shown interest on any writing activity than other age groups. The undertaking any crafts and culture purchases, the equal number of mid-aged people were participated in both of them. And the less number of (25-44) aged people were involved in any writing (6 %). While, the majority of middle aged people was shown interested in any performance (22%).
The table
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garph
illustrates the survey results of Scottish adults by their age, whether they had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in various cultures activities in last year.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
were
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in Dance, singing, playing musical instruments and acting.
However
, their involved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less in computer based than other activities.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asper
the Any performance, the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of youth were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
(35%).
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of youth had taken part in computer based was 10%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. With regard the undertaking any crafts, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
(45-74)
were involved
extremely
high 22% than other age groups.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few (45-74) aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
were shown
interest on any writing activity than other age groups. The undertaking any crafts and culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, the equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of mid-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in both of them. And the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of (25-44) aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were involved
in any writing (6 %). While, the majority of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
middle aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was shown
interested in any performance (22%).
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IELTS academic The table garph illustrates the survey results of Scottish adults by their age, whether they had participated in various cultures activities in last year.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
170 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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