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The table demonstrates the number of people suffering from Thyroid cancer in three age groups of adults, adolescents and children in Belarus after the catastrophe in Chernobyl over the 17 years period from 1986 to 2002.

The table demonstrates the number of people suffering from Thyroid cancer in three age groups of adults, adolescents and children in Belarus after the catastrophe in Chernobyl over the 17 years period from 1986 to 2002. MmRyQ
The table demonstrates the number of people suffering from Thyroid cancer in three age groups of adults, adolescents and children in Belarus after the catastrophe in Chernobyl over the 17 years period from 1986 to 2002. Overall, the number of adults, children and adolescents who became ill with cancer witnessed a sharp rise. Then, the figure for adults and adolescents kept on increasing remarkably and adults finished highest while cancer cases of children dropped moderately. From 1986 to 1992, the number of adults suffering from cancer fluctuated around 0. 3/100000 cases and 1. 5/100000 cases. There was a steep growth from 1/100000 cases to 3/100000 cases between 1992 and 1996. Then, the figure for adults rocketed from 3/100000 cases to 9. 6/100000 cases in the next 4 months before hitting a peak of 11. 5/100000 cases in 2001. In the last period, the figure for adults dropped significantly to 9. 8/100000 cases. The number of adolescents who became ill with cancer remained unchanged at nearly 0 cases between 1986 and 1988 and then increased substantially to 1. 9/100000 cases from 1989 to 1994. Moreover, in the next year, the figure saw a slight decrease to 1. 5/100000 cases. But then the figure for adolescents witnessed a phenomenal growth from 1. 5/100000 cases to 7/100000 cases in the last 7 years. For the group of children, from 1986-1988 it increased slightly from 0 cases to 0. 2/100000 cases then decrease to 0. 1/100000 cases in the following year
The table demonstrates the
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number
of
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people
suffering from Thyroid
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cancer
in three age groups of
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adults
,
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adolescents
and
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children
in Belarus after the catastrophe in Chernobyl over the 17 years period from 1986 to 2002.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
,
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children
and
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adolescents
who became ill with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
witnessed a sharp rise. Then, the
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figure
for
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adults
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing
remarkably
and
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adults
finished highest while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
dropped
moderately
. From 1986 to 1992, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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adults
suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
fluctuated around 0. 3/100000 cases and 1. 5/100000 cases. There was a steep growth
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1 to 100000"?
from 1/100000
cases to 3/100000 cases between 1992 and 1996. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
rocketed
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 3 to 100000"?
from 3/100000
cases to 9. 6/100000 cases in the
next
4 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
hitting a peak of 11. 5/100000 cases in 2001. In the last period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
dropped
significantly
to 9. 8/100000 cases. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
who became ill with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
remained unchanged at
nearly
0 cases between 1986 and 1988 and then increased
substantially
to 1. 9/100000 cases from 1989 to 1994.
Moreover
, in the
next
year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight decrease to 1. 5/100000 cases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
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adolescents
witnessed a phenomenal growth from 1. 5/100000 cases to 7/100000 cases in the last 7 years.

For the group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, from 1986-1988 it increased
slightly
from 0 cases to 0. 2/100000 cases then decrease to 0. 1/100000 cases in the following year
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IELTS academic The table demonstrates the number of people suffering from Thyroid cancer in three age groups of adults, adolescents and children in Belarus after the catastrophe in Chernobyl over the 17 years period from 1986 to 2002.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
246 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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