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the table compare the part-time and full-time job people worked in the countries and European average in 2002

the table compare the part-time and full-time job people worked in the countries and European average in 2002 BYy2a
A glance at the tables provided not only differentiates between the ordinary hours of part- time and full-time work by both genders in three countries, namely Greece, Neverlands, UK but also makes a comparison of these values with European median in 2002. It can be clearly seen that men worked longer hours than their counterparts in Greece and the UK while that of Neverlands and European average had some distinctions. In addition, Greece’s standard number of hours was more than other two countries as well as than the European average for full-time work. As shown in the first table, in 2002, Greece held the lion’s share with nearly 40 and 42. 5 hours working full-time for females and males correspondingly. This was nearly followed by European average at 39. 2 for women and 40. 4 for men. At the same time, Netherlands was the only country had an equal time duties of two genders at 38 hours while UK had the lowest figures in this realm which is 37. 5 and 37 hours between males and females, respectively. In terms of part-time work, European average obtained 34 hours of women and 32 hours of men, far exceeded the working times of other countries’people in 2002. Meanwhile, both Greece and Neverlands males had more part-time work hours than these of females. Conversely, a reverse trend can be seen in the numbers of men and women in Netherlands, with 28. 3 hours for the former and 29. 2 hours for the latter.
A glance at the tables provided not
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only
differentiates between the ordinary
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hours
of part-
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time
and full-time work by both genders in three countries,
namely
Greece,
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Neverlands
, UK
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but
also
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makes
a comparison of these values with European median in 2002.

It can be
clearly
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seen
that
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men
worked longer
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hours
than their counterparts in Greece and the UK while that of
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Neverlands
and European
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average
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
distinctions.
In addition
, Greece’s standard number of
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hours
was more than other two countries
as well
as than the European
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average
for full-time work.

As shown in the
first
table, in 2002, Greece held the lion’s share with
nearly
40 and 42. 5
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hours
working full-time for females and males
correspondingly
. This was
nearly
followed by European
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average
at 39. 2 for women and 40. 4 for
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men
. At the same
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time
, Netherlands was the
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only
country had an equal
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time
duties of two genders at 38
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hours
while UK had the lowest figures in this realm which is 37. 5 and 37
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hours
between males and females,
respectively
.

In terms of part-time work, European
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average
obtained 34
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hours
of women and 32
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hours
of
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men
, far exceeded the working
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times
of other countries’
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people
in 2002. Meanwhile, both Greece and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neverlands
males had more part-time work
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hours
than these of females.
Conversely
, a reverse trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the numbers of
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men
and women
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Netherlands".
in Netherlands
, with 28. 3
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hours
for the former and 29. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for the latter.
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IELTS academic the table compare the part-time and full-time job people worked in the countries and European average in 2002

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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