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The table below shows what percentage of foreign tourists to a British tourist attraction came from different regions of the world in 1989 and 2009 as well as the total number of tourists who visited in each year.

The table below shows what percentage of foreign tourists to a British tourist attraction came from different regions of the world in 1989 and 2009 as well as the total number of tourists who visited in each year. rG0Ym
The diagram illustrates the proportion of tourists from different countries who visited British areas in two seprate years (1989 and 2009). Overall, the number of tourists from Asia and Middle East increased and it was reverse for Europian and North American but the whole number of them increased too. Just 13% of foreign tourists who visited British reigons in 1989 were from Asia but this percentage doubled in 2009. In addition, in 2009, 17 per cent of travelers were from The Middle East went to this particular areas while in 1989 it was 8 percent. The number of foreign tourists from two various reigons decreased. These regions namely Europe and North America. In both areas, 10 per cent decline happened during twenty years. For instance, 44% of foreign tourists in 1989 were from Europe but in 2009 it was just 31% and for North America, in 1989 this percentage was 31% and in 2009 it declined to 22 percent. The number of tourist from South America was steady at 4% in both years. Also, the total amount of travelers who went to these places rose from 362, 020 in 1989 to 731, 455 in 2009.
The diagram illustrates the proportion of
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tourists
from
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different
countries who visited British areas in two
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seprate
years (1989 and 2009).
Overall
, the
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number
of
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tourists
from Asia and Middle East increased and it was reverse for
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Europian
and North American
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but
the whole
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number
of them increased too.

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Just
13% of foreign
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tourists
who visited British
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reigons
in 1989 were from Asia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this percentage doubled in 2009.
In addition
, in 2009, 17 per cent of travelers
Possible agreement error
were
from The Middle East went to this particular areas while in 1989 it was 8 percent.

The
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number
of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from two various
Possible spelling mistake found.
reigons
decreased. These regions
namely
Europe and North America. In both areas, 10 per cent decline happened during twenty years.
For instance
, 44% of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in 1989 were from Europe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2009 it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
31% and for North America, in 1989 this percentage was 31% and in 2009 it declined to 22 percent. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
from South America was steady at 4% in both years.
Also
, the total amount of travelers who went to these places rose from 362, 020 in 1989 to 731, 455 in 2009.
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IELTS academic The table below shows what percentage of foreign tourists to a British tourist attraction came from different regions of the world in 1989 and 2009 as well as the total number of tourists who visited in each year.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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