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The table below shows the reasons why people in Australia use online services according to the ages.

The table below shows the reasons why people in Australia use online services according to the ages. XEVPg
The table illustrates the reasons why different age groups in the Australia use internet services. The information shown six circumstances in four age groups from 11-19, 20-29, 30-39, and 40 and over years old. Based on the chart, teenagers who where 11-19 years old, reached the highest percentage 36% in age group who spending their time for the purpose of study, while 40 and over year old use the least. Likewise, it is stated that E-mail was another cause of many young students have to use internet for with the highest in among six reasons 40%, 20-29 for 41%, 30-39 for 41%, and 38% for age group 40 and over. Likewise, online chatting follows the same trend. In contrast, most of the young people seldom access to E-Banking, and others as low as 2 percentage, followed by 40 and over 20%, 30-39 11%, and 20-29 years old 5%. Similar trend went to online shopping which majority users were adult, and shallow in adolescent. Overall, there has been a rise in people spending online in order to improve their knowledge studying social reasons such as education, networking, and Email.
The table illustrates the reasons why
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different
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age
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groups
in the Australia
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use
internet services. The information shown six circumstances in four
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age
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groups
from 11-19, 20-29, 30-39, and 40 and
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over
years
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old
.

Based on the chart,
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teenagers
who where 11-19 years
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old
, reached the highest percentage 36% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
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group
who spending their time for the purpose of study, while 40 and
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over
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year
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old
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use
the least.
Likewise
, it
is stated
that E-mail was another cause of
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many
young students
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have to
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use
internet for with the highest in among six reasons 40%, 20-29 for 41%, 30-39 for 41%, and 38% for
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
40 and
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over
.
Likewise
, online chatting follows the same trend.
In contrast
, most of the young
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people
seldom access to E-Banking,
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and others
as low as 2 percentage, followed by 40 and
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over
20%, 30-39 11%, and 20-29 years
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old
5%. Similar trend went to online shopping which majority users were adult, and shallow in adolescent.

Overall
, there has been a rise in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spending online in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge studying social reasons such as education, networking, and Email.

IELTS academic The table below shows the reasons why people in Australia use online services according to the ages.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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