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The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011.

The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011. 780A
The table compares the proportion of people who rode bicycles, by age and gender, in some specific town in 2011. Overall, the children under nine years old used bicycles the most, while middle-aged people were the least likely to ride a bike. Also, men tended to cycle less compared to women during the period shown. Looking at the table, Children under nine years old made up the largest proportion of male and female cyclists, at approximately 50% and 52% respectively. However, in the following older age group, the female cyclists stood at 42%, outnumbering males, with only under a quarter. The proportion of males and females, ages between 18 to 39, was only about 9% and 17%, respectively. The number of people who rode bicycles was the lowest for the 40 to 59 years old age group, with only 8% of males and 12% of females cyclist. In contrast, the people aged over 60 years old showed an interest in cycling compared to the mid-age group from 18 to 59 years old for both men and women.
The table compares the proportion of
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people
who rode bicycles, by
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age
and gender, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific town in 2011.

Overall
, the children under nine years
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old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
bicycles the most, while middle-aged
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people
were the least likely to ride a bike.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
tended to cycle less compared to women during the period shown.

Looking at the table, Children under nine years
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old
made up the largest proportion of male and
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female
cyclists, at approximately 50% and 52%
respectively
.
However
, in the following older
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age
group, the
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female
cyclists stood at 42%, outnumbering
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males
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
under a quarter. The proportion of
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males
and
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females
,
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ages
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 18 and 39".
between 18 to 39
, was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 9% and 17%,
respectively
.

The number of
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people
who rode bicycles was the lowest for the 40 to 59 years
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8% of
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males
and 12% of
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females
cyclist.
In contrast
, the
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people
aged over 60 years
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old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an interest in cycling compared to the mid-age group from 18 to 59 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
for both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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