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The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. PoPX
The table compares the information regarding the number of people who come to the Ashdown Museum before and later to renovation, and pie charts illustrate survey results about the satisfaction of people who visits. Overall, it is clear that more visitors come to the museum after reconstruction and the satisfaction among visitors increases and dissatisfaction decrease. However, the people who have given no response remain the same. Regarding total visitors, the amount shows noticeable growth from 74, 000 to 92, 000. In terms of, satisfied and dissatisfied, there were the proportion of less than a third and exactly a two-fifths, sequentially, and the ratio of satisfied people has considerable rise by 10 while by this dissatisfaction decline significantly from 10 to 5. With regards to, very satisfied and very dissatisfied, there was a minimal difference between both 15 is for very satisfied as compared to 5 for very dissatisfied, but the figure for very satisfying increase remarkably from 15 to 35 whilst very dissatisfied witness declines by 5. Moreover, there were 5 out of 10 people who have given no response.
The table compares the information regarding the number of
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people
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who
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come
to the
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Ashdown
Museum
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before
and later to renovation, and pie charts illustrate survey results about the satisfaction of
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people
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who
visits.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that more visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the museum after reconstruction and the satisfaction among visitors increases and dissatisfaction decrease.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
no response remain the same.

Regarding total visitors, the amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
noticeable growth from 74, 000 to 92, 000. In terms of,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
and dissatisfied, there were the proportion of less than a third and exactly a two-fifths,
sequentially
, and the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has considerable rise by 10 while by this dissatisfaction decline
significantly
from 10 to 5.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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satisfied
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied, there was a minimal difference between both 15 is for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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satisfied
as compared to 5 for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the figure for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfying increase
remarkably
from 15 to 35 whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied witness declines by 5.
Moreover
, there were 5 out of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
no response.

IELTS academic The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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