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The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data. PyMd
These pie charts show different between two types of dinners backed potato and macaroni. It is clear from the graph that, the baked potato has more protein and less carbohydrates. According to what is shown, the macaroni dish has more that 50% of carbohydrates. In addition, it contains 11% of glucose and protein, where the fat is highest than baked potato by double. However, the percentage of nutrients it just around 5% which is less that baked potato. In other hand, medium baked potato has the half of saturated fat amount that in the macaroni. Due to fact of the high percentage of protein in the baked potato which is more than 20%. To sum up we could say the medium baked potato dish meal has more protein than macaroni, where macoroni has carbohydrates more than baked potato by 17%. While in fact both meals contain various types of nutritional.
These pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between two types of dinners backed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potato
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
macaroni
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
baked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potato
has more protein and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun carbohydrates is countable.
less
carbohydrates.

According to what
is shown
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
macaroni
dish has more that 50% of carbohydrates.
In addition
, it contains 11% of glucose and protein, where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is
Use "higher" to make a comparison with this adjective.
highest
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
baked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potato
by double.
However
, the percentage of nutrients it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 5% which is less that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
baked
potato.

In other hand, medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
baked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potato
has the half of saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
amount that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
macaroni
. Due to fact of the high percentage of protein in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
baked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potato
which is more than 20%.

To sum up we could say the medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
baked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potato
dish meal has more protein than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
macaroni
, where
Possible spelling mistake found.
macoroni
has carbohydrates more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
baked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potato
by 17%.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
in fact both meals contain various types of nutritional.
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IELTS academic The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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