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the table below shows the age profile of tourists on backpacking holidays and guided tours in new zealand in 2012 and the pie chart gives the satisfaction rating of their stay

the table below shows the age profile of tourists on backpacking holidays and guided tours in new zealand in 2012 and the pie chart gives the satisfaction rating of their stay R2j7P
The given bar graph details the proportional comparison in the context of buying and drinking coffee or tea among people in five Australian cities over the last 4 weeks. Looking from the overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the majority of the population went to a cafe, except Adelaide where most people preferred instant coffee over the cafe. In addition, the habit of buying fresh coffee was the least popular in all cities. According to the given illustration, more than half of the residents chose cafe over other options in Melbourne and Hobart with 64% each, followed next by Sydney who accounted for 61%. Although Brisbane and Adelaide also recorded nearly 56% and 49% respectively, it came out to be the lowest proportion in this regard. With regard to buying habits, Hobart and Brisbane stood at 1% difference, as the former surveyed 54% instant coffee buyers, higher by 1% than the latter. Nearly half of the population in Adelaide opted for instant coffee as a prior choice. Also, in Melbourne, 3% more people bought instant coffee as opposed to just 45% in Sydney. However, fresh coffee demand remained below 45% in all the cities, where Brisbane and Adelaide noticed the lowest proportion of 33% each.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
the proportional comparison in the context of buying and drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in five Australian cities over the last 4 weeks.

Looking from the
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that the majority of the population went to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
, except Adelaide where most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
preferred instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
over the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
.
In addition
, the habit of buying fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was the least popular in all cities.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration, more than half of the residents chose
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
over other options in Melbourne and Hobart with 64% each, followed
next
by Sydney who accounted for 61%. Although Brisbane and Adelaide
also
recorded
nearly
56% and 49%
respectively
, it came out to be the lowest proportion in this regard.

With regard to buying habits, Hobart and Brisbane stood at 1% difference, as the former surveyed 54% instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
buyers, higher by 1% than the latter.
Nearly
half of the population in Adelaide opted for instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
as a prior choice.
Also
, in Melbourne, 3% more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
as opposed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
45% in Sydney.
However
, fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
demand remained below 45% in all the cities, where Brisbane and Adelaide noticed the lowest proportion of 33% each.

IELTS academic the table below shows the age profile of tourists on backpacking holidays and guided tours in new zealand in 2012 and the pie chart gives the satisfaction rating of their stay

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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