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The table below gives information about the public and private spending of gross domestic product in the health service of various countries in 2002.

The table below gives information about the public and private spending of gross domestic product in the health service of various countries in 2002. NyVRq
The table compares the proportion of government and private spending which contribute to GDP in the health care sector by Japan, Italy, Germany, France and the USA in 2002. Overall, it can be seen, in the health care a large amount of investment done by France in both sectors. Whereas, Japans' spending in both the sectors was the least. In 2002, Japan and Italy spent almost smiler in terms of GDP, which was accounted for around 7%. The private expenditure of these counties was accounted for 1. 40% of Japan, Italys' was ten times more than Japan whereas, public spending in Japan was 5. 80%, which was 0. 50% more than in Italy. The USA contributed 8. 60% of spending for GDP in health care services, from which the US government spent 6%, and the rest of it was through the private sector. Germany, total spending was 9. 30% for GDP, which was the second-most among the five nations. The government contribution on spending on health care services was 7% and 2. 30% through the private. The highest amount of spending on health was by France. Their total spending was 11. 40% for GDP in health and care, from which the government expenditure was 8. 60%, and the rest was by private.
The table compares the proportion of
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government
and
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private
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spending
which contribute to GDP in the
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health
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care
sector by
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Japan
, Italy, Germany, France and the USA in 2002.

Overall
, it can be
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seen
, in the
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health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
a large amount of investment done by France in both sectors.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, Japans'
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spending
in both the sectors was the least.

In 2002,
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Japan
and Italy spent almost
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smiler
in terms of GDP, which
was accounted
for around 7%. The
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private
expenditure of these counties
was accounted
for 1. 40% of
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Japan
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Italys
' was ten times more than
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Japan
whereas, public
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spending
in
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Japan
was 5. 80%, which was 0. 50% more than in Italy. The USA contributed 8. 60% of
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spending
for GDP in
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health
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care
services, from which the US
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government
spent 6%, and the rest of it was through the
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private
sector.

Germany, total
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spending
was 9. 30% for GDP, which was the second-most among the five nations. The
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government
The usual preposition for "contribution" is "to". Did you mean "contribution to"?
contribution on
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spending
on
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health
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care
services was 7% and 2. 30% through the
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private
. The highest amount of
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spending
on
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health
was by France. Their total
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spending
was 11. 40% for GDP in
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health
and
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care
, from which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
expenditure was 8. 60%, and the rest was by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
.
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IELTS academic The table below gives information about the public and private spending of gross domestic product in the health service of various countries in 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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