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The table and notes below give information about student enrolments at Brighton co-ed secondary school in 1990, 2000 and 2010.

The table and notes below give information about student enrolments at Brighton co-ed secondary school in 1990, 2000 and 2010. YyPwr
The table illustrates the number of students enrolled in Brighton co-ed secondary school which is fee paying and run privately over three decades of 1990, 2000, 2010. It is apparent from the table that the student enrollment reached to full capacity and the target was achieved in the enrollment of foreign students by 2010. With regards to the number of student enrollment increased over years by 800, 1400 and 3400 respectively. Also, the percentage of boys enrollment is significantly high and witnessed an increasing trend from 52 to 56 and finally to 61 percentage at 2010. In contrast, this is opposite in the case of girl enrollment where the percentage gradually decreased to 39 percentage. Furthermore, the percentage of people residing around the school within five miles decreased every ten years of around 10 percentage which is 75 Percentage at 2010. Besides, the percentage of overseas students within Britain is exclusively high in 1990 with cent percentage but slowly decreased to 76 percentage. where as, the students that are from rest of the world started from zero enrolment reached to 24 percentage. Overall, percentage of foreign students enrollment increased by around 10 percentage over each decade from 5 to 15 and then to 25.
The table illustrates the number of
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students
enrolled in Brighton co-ed secondary school which is fee paying and run
privately
over three decades of 1990, 2000, 2010.

It is apparent from the table that the
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student
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enrollment
reached to full capacity and the target
was achieved
in the
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enrollment
of foreign
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students
by 2010.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the number of
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student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
increased over years by 800, 1400 and 3400
respectively
.
Also
, the
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percentage
of boys
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enrollment
is
significantly
high and witnessed an increasing trend from 52 to 56 and
finally
to 61
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percentage
at 2010.
In contrast
, this is opposite in the case of girl
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enrollment
where the
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percentage
gradually
decreased to 39 percentage.

Furthermore
, the
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percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
residing around the school within five miles decreased every ten years of around 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
which is 75
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Percentage
at 2010.
Besides
, the
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percentage
of overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
within Britain is exclusively high in 1990 with cent
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percentage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
slowly
decreased to 76
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percentage
.
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
, the
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students
that are from rest of the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from zero
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
reached to 24
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percentage
.
Overall
,
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percentage
of foreign
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
increased by around 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
over each decade from 5 to 15 and then to 25.

IELTS academic The table and notes below give information about student enrolments at Brighton co-ed secondary school in 1990, 2000 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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