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The supplied bar chart illustrates the amount of community networking services applied by people in Canada in the years 2014 and 2015.

The supplied bar chart illustrates the amount of community networking services applied by people in Canada in the years 2014 and 2015. NV3wd
The supplied bar chart illustrates the amount of community networking services applied by people in Canada in the years 2014 and 2015. Overall, it is clear that the percentage of people browsing only one site or not using sites witnessed a drop, whereas that for more than two sites increased over the period shown. As can be observed from the chart, people in Canada prefered to use one social networking site in both years. However, the rate declined from 36% to 28% between 2014 and 2015. The same pattern was also seen in the figures for people not having an account on social media with a decrease of 1%. Meanwhile, the proportion of people browsing five sites was lowest although there was a two-fold increase from 2% to 4%. Besides, in 2014, 23% of people in Canada used two sites for social networking, which grew a little bit in 2015 making about one-fourth of the population. The period between 2014 and 2015 also underwent a growth of 4% and 3% in the percentage of those browsing three and four sites, respectively.
The supplied bar chart illustrates the amount of community networking services applied by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Canada in the years 2014 and 2015.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
browsing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
or not using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
witnessed a drop, whereas that for more than two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
increased over the period shown.

As can
be observed
from the chart,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Canada
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
one social networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
in both years.
However
, the rate declined from 36% to 28% between 2014 and 2015. The same pattern was
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not having an account on social media with a decrease of 1%. Meanwhile, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
browsing five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
was lowest although there was a two-fold increase from 2% to 4%.

Besides
, in 2014, 23% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Canada
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
for social networking, which grew a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
in 2015 making about one-fourth of the population. The period between 2014 and 2015
also
underwent a growth of 4% and 3% in the percentage of those browsing three and four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The supplied bar chart illustrates the amount of community networking services applied by people in Canada in the years 2014 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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