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The results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United State of America in 1999 and 2009

The results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United State of America in 1999 and 2009 15oaq
These two pie charts depict the changes of popular leisure activities among the citizens of United State of America from 1999 to 2009 over a period of 10 years. Overall, the most well liked leisure activities are walking, swimming and soccer, apart from the camping, jogging and bicycling, whereas Yoga has been unliked in place of weightlifting. As per survey, it is clear that walking was most popular over a period of 10 years, with around a half quarter to nearly a third. However, swimming was under a small minority in 1999 and it consistently went up to nearly a quarter. Moreover, soccer at just under 20% from 1999 to 2009. Over a period of 10 years, the least unlike leisure activity yoga was no longer liked in 1999, unlike weightlifting was chosen by 10% people. Even though, the activities such as jogging, bicycling and Aerobics Showed the least interest minority activities among citizens.
These two pie charts depict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of popular leisure
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activities
among the citizens of United State of America from 1999 to 2009 over a period of 10 years.

Overall
, the most well liked leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are walking, swimming and soccer, apart from the camping, jogging and bicycling, whereas Yoga has
been unliked
in place of weightlifting.

As per survey, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that walking was most popular over a period of 10 years, with around a half quarter to
nearly
a third.
However
, swimming was under a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
minority in 1999 and it
consistently
went up to
nearly
a quarter.
Moreover
, soccer at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 20% from 1999 to 2009.

Over a period of 10 years, the least unlike leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
yoga was no longer liked in 1999, unlike weightlifting
was chosen
by 10%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Even though
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as jogging, bicycling and Aerobics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Showed
the least interest minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
among citizens.
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IELTS academic The results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United State of America in 1999 and 2009

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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