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quantity and cleanliness of water supplied

quantity and cleanliness of water supplied wBeam
The given bar graphs illustrate quantity and cleanliness of water supplied to two area namely Australia and South East Asia in the year 1990 and 2010. A cursory glance at the graphs is enough to make it clear that amount of water supplied in 2010 was higher than 1990. Overall, people supplied with water increased in the given both countries over years. Degree of cleanliness increased in Australia whereas it decreased in Sout East Asia. It can be seen that people who live in Australia can access to water with 80 percent in 1990. After two decades, this proportion showed almost 100 percent. In South East Asia, people supplied with water indicate just under 40 percent in 1990 whereas it escalated dramatically in 2010 with near 80 percent. Percentage of water hygiene was risen from almost 70 percent to under 80 percent in Australia whereas it dropped from 40 percent to near 38 percent in South East Asia.
The
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given
bar graphs illustrate quantity and cleanliness of
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water
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supplied
to two area
namely
Australia and South East Asia in the year 1990 and 2010. A cursory glance at the graphs is
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enough
to
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make
it
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clear
that amount of
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water
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supplied
in 2010 was higher than 1990.

Overall
,
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people
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supplied
with
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water
increased in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
both countries over years. Degree of cleanliness increased in Australia whereas it decreased in
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Sout
East Asia.

It can be
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seen
that
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people
who
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live
in Australia can access to
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water
with 80
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percent
in 1990. After two decades, this proportion
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showed
almost 100
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percent
. In South East Asia,
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people
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supplied
with
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water
indicate
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just
under 40
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percent
in 1990 whereas it escalated
dramatically
in 2010 with near 80
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percent
. Percentage of
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water
hygiene
was risen
from almost 70
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percent
to under 80
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percent
in Australia whereas it dropped from 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to near 38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in South East Asia.

IELTS academic quantity and cleanliness of water supplied

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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