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The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. p9WL
The bar graph categorizes the type of obstacles faced by people when they settled in a different nation, and it is calibrated percentage-wise. Overall, it can be explicitly observed that the elderly find the local language the most problematic, whilst finding accommodation and companions were for the middle-agers and adults respectively when they were abroad. With regards to the people over 55, the Major challenge was the language for more than half of them, whereas a search for a home or having friends were relatively the same, which was less than 50% in total. Meanwhile, people between 35-54 and 18-34, reported similar results while looking for a place to live, that is, 39% and 40%; likewise, the local language was, namely 35% and 29%, strenuous for them respectively. In contrast to that, looking for friends was 36% for former; whilst 46% for latter, specifically the exact difference of 10%.
The bar graph categorizes the type of obstacles faced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when they settled in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nation, and it
is calibrated
percentage-wise.
Overall
, it can be
explicitly
observed that the elderly find the local language the most problematic, whilst finding accommodation and companions were for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
middle-agers
and adults
respectively
when they were abroad.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 55, the Major challenge was the language for more than half of them, whereas a search for a home or having friends were
relatively
the same, which was less than 50% in total.

Meanwhile,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
between 35-54 and 18-34, reported similar results while looking for a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
that is
, 39% and 40%;
likewise
, the local language was,
namely
35% and 29%, strenuous for them
respectively
.
In contrast
to that, looking for friends was 36% for former; whilst 46% for latter,
specifically
the exact difference of 10%.
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IELTS academic The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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