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The rendered process chart demonstrates the information regarding various steps which were used in manufacturing bricks for the purpose of establishing an industry

The rendered process chart demonstrates the information regarding various steps which were used in manufacturing bricks for the purpose of establishing an industry yDbng
The rendered process chart demonstrates the information regarding various steps which were used in manufacturing bricks for the purpose of establishing an industry Beginning with the first and foremost step where a digger was used to dig the clay and a metal sleeve grind the clay with the help of roller by adding water and sand. After that a wire cutter turned the moulded clay in the shape of bricks which were later in dried in oven at required temperature for 24-48 hours. Bricks were then cooled from moderate temperature (200°c-980°c) to high temperature (870°c-1300°c) for maximum 48 to 72 hours. At the end whole stock got packed in desired way. Finally bricks are ready to transport in the market. Overall, the whole process includes seven stages for the production of bricks and all are quite necessary, if any single step will be dismissed then it may cause trouble in the entire procedure.
The rendered process chart demonstrates the information regarding various steps which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
for the purpose of establishing an industry

Beginning with the
first
and foremost step where a digger was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to dig the clay and a metal sleeve grind the clay with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of roller by adding water and sand. After that a wire cutter turned the
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
clay in the shape of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
which were later
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in dried in
oven at required temperature for 24-48 hours.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bricks
were then cooled from moderate temperature (200°c-980°c) to high temperature (870°c-1300°c) for maximum 48 to 72 hours. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
whole stock
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
packed in desired way.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are ready to transport in the market.

Overall
, the whole process includes seven stages for the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
and all are quite necessary, if any single step will
be dismissed
then it may cause trouble in the entire procedure.
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IELTS academic The rendered process chart demonstrates the information regarding various steps which were used in manufacturing bricks for the purpose of establishing an industry

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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