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the quantity of people which were visited by three museums

the quantity of people which were visited by three museums XlAP8
The graph highlights data about the quantity of people which were visited by three museums – MET (New York), Edo (Tokyo) and National (China), over a five year period between 2000 and 2005. Overall, it can be seen that, there were considerable upward trends in the number of travelers both MET and National, whereas the quantity of visitors of Edo illustrated a significant fall over the period in question. Looking at the details, as regards Edo, the number started at approximately 13M in 2000, which meant that it had the highest number of three museums in that year. At this point, the number leveled off until 2001. Next, between 2001 and 2003, there was rapid decline in the quantity by nearly 13M, from just under 10M to just over 6M. Subsequently, the figure went up gradually in the last two years and it reached at 10M in 2005. With respect to the MET, the figure dropped rapidly from 12M to 6M in 2000-2001. Following this, having remained stable in 2001-2002, the number demonstrated a gradual rise by 6M, from around 8M to 12M between 2002 and 2005. Finally, the number reached at just over 14M in 2005. By contrast, the quantity of people in National stood at about 6M in 2000, which meant that it was visited for less than other museums. The figure rose gradually by about 6M, from just under 8M to approximately 9M, to 11M between 2000 and 2003. Despite remaining stable in 2003, the number then rocketed to just over 16M in 2005, which meant that it had the highest number of three museums in that year.
The graph highlights data about the
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quantity
of
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people
which
were visited
by three
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museums
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
MET (New York),
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Edo
(Tokyo) and National (China),
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over
a five
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year
period between 2000 and 2005.

Overall
, it can be
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seen
that, there were considerable upward trends in the
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number
of travelers both MET and National, whereas the
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quantity
of visitors of
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Edo
illustrated a significant fall
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over
the period in question.

Looking at the
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details
, as regards
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Edo
, the
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number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at approximately 13M in 2000, which meant that it had the highest
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number
of three
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museums
in that
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year
. At this point, the
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number
leveled off until 2001.
Next
, between 2001 and 2003, there was rapid decline in the
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quantity
by
nearly
13M, from
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just
under 10M to
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just
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over
6M.
Subsequently
, the figure went up
gradually
in the last two years and it reached at 10M in 2005.

With respect to the MET, the figure dropped
rapidly
from 12M to 6M in 2000-2001. Following this, having remained stable in 2001-2002, the
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number
demonstrated a gradual rise by 6M, from around 8M to 12M between 2002 and 2005.
Finally
, the
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number
reached at
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just
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over
14M in 2005.

By contrast, the
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quantity
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in National stood at about 6M in 2000, which meant that it
was visited
for less than other
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museums
. The figure rose
gradually
by about 6M, from
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just
under 8M to approximately 9M, to 11M between 2000 and 2003. Despite remaining stable in 2003, the
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number
then rocketed to
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just
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over
16M in 2005, which meant that it had the highest
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number
of three
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museums
in that
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year
.
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IELTS academic the quantity of people which were visited by three museums

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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