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The provided table elucidates sales porportion of the laptop producer in the commerce through out the world in 2006 an 2007.

The provided table elucidates sales porportion of the laptop producer in the commerce through out the world in 2006 an 2007. Dwd5W
he provided table elucidates sales porportion of the laptop producer in the commerce through out the world in 2006 an 2007. As a general trend, the sales HP laptop was the highest, whilst the products of Siemens were slightly sold in 2006 and 2007. As far as HP, Dell, Acer and others in this table, the highest percentage of HP is 31. 4 % in 2006 and 34% in 2007, whilst Acer is 11. 6 % in 2006 and 10. 7 in 2007. Moreover, HP and Dell market share increased, and Acer and others declined during these years. The most striking difference is that finally, it is observed that it palpitated slightly.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
provided table elucidates sales
Possible spelling mistake found.
porportion
of the laptop producer in the commerce
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the world in 2006 an 2007.

As a general trend, the sales HP laptop was the highest, whilst the products of Siemens were
slightly
sold in 2006 and 2007.

As far as HP, Dell, Acer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
in this table, the highest percentage of HP is 31. 4 % in 2006 and 34% in 2007, whilst Acer is 11. 6 % in 2006 and 10. 7 in 2007.
Moreover
, HP and Dell market share increased, and Acer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
declined during these years. The most striking difference is that
finally
, it
is observed
that it palpitated
slightly
.
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IELTS academic The provided table elucidates sales porportion of the laptop producer in the commerce through out the world in 2006 an 2007.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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