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The provided pie charts elucidate the comparison of department’s store income by departments in 2019 to 2020.

The provided pie charts elucidate the comparison of department’s store income by departments in 2019 to 2020. N3PKg
The provided pie charts elucidate the comparison of department’s store income by departments in 2019 to 2020. As a general trendy, both 2019 and 2020 years, the majority of this department store’s sales revenue consist of houseware; however, furniture made the lowest percentage of it. As far as the department store’s sales in 2019, the houseware accounted for 37%, whilst fashion and furniture were the same income, which is 17%. Moreover, %. It is worth noting that the electronics products were sold by 28%, with the exception of the houseware. What is more remarkable about it is that the fashion, furniture and daily based good’s earnings share has been seen that it equals to the electronics total amount of sales. As regards with this store’s sales revenue in 2020, the furniture declined down to 4%, which is the lowest resource income; nevertheless, the houseware account for 27% during this year. Furthermore, it is worth noting that in the fashion, the grocery and the electronics sectors, there were a parity between these three, which was 23%. Interestingly, electronics dropped by 5% that it can be noticed. That is, the total sales income consisted of different part of products.
The provided pie charts elucidate the comparison of
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department’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
by
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departments
in 2019 to 2020.

As a general trendy, both 2019 and 2020 years, the majority of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
revenue consist of
Possible spelling mistake found.
houseware
;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
made the lowest percentage of it.

As far as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in 2019, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
houseware
accounted for 37%, whilst fashion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
were the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
, which is 17%.
Moreover
, %. It is worth noting that the electronics products
were sold
by 28%,
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
houseware
.
What is more
remarkable about it is that the fashion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
and daily based
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
’s earnings share has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that it equals to the electronics total amount of sales.

As regards with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
revenue in 2020, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
declined down to 4%, which is the lowest resource
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
;
nevertheless
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
houseware
account for 27% during this year.
Furthermore
, it is worth noting that in the fashion, the grocery and the electronics sectors, there were a parity between these three, which was 23%.
Interestingly
, electronics dropped by 5% that it can
be noticed
.
That is
, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
consisted of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of products.
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IELTS academic The provided pie charts elucidate the comparison of department’s store income by departments in 2019 to 2020.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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