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THE NUMBER OF BOOKS READ BY MEN AND WOMEN AT BURNABY PUBLIC LIBRARY

THE NUMBER OF BOOKS READ BY MEN AND WOMEN AT BURNABY PUBLIC LIBRARY ArLNe
The line chart illustrates the quantities of books read by people at a Public Library between 2011 and 2014. Overall, the data of books read demonstrates an upward trend. To begin with, the figure of books read by men was depicted with an orange line. At the beginning of this period, this number was only about 3000 books. After one year, in 2012, it increased gradually by 1000 books. Then, the graph showed an extremely sharp go up in how many books were read by males from 2013 to 2014. Over the period shown, the chart was nearly the same as a straight line which had a rapidly increasing quantity was 10000 books. Despite the fact that books read by females had a similar trend with this statistic's males, it also had a little bit difference between these numbers at Burnaby Public Library. Starting with 5000 books respectively in 2011, women also more and more read books from time to time. In 2 years later, it had a dramatic go up by 5000 books and reached to peak at 2013 with 10000 books was read by women. However, the number of books read at this library by females reduced moderately between 2013 and 2014. In the final year of the process, the figures of books that were read by women were equal to half of how many books were read by men. This quantity was approximately 7000 books. The data of books read by both genders at Burnaby Public Library during the four years period of time was described by the line chart. After four years, people read higher and higher figures of books.
The
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line
chart illustrates the quantities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at a Public Library between 2011 and 2014.
Overall
, the data of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
demonstrates an upward trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the figure of
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books
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "reads"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'read' is not always incorrect.)
read
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
was depicted
with an orange
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line
. At the beginning of this period, this number was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 3000
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books
. After one
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year
, in 2012, it increased
gradually
by 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Then, the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an
extremely
sharp go up in how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by males from 2013 to 2014. Over the period shown, the chart was
nearly
the same as a straight
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line
which had a
rapidly
increasing quantity was 10000 books.

Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by females had a similar trend with this statistic's males, it
also
had a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
difference between these numbers at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Burnaby
Public Library. Starting with 5000
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books
respectively
in 2011, women
also
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from time to time. In 2 years later, it had a dramatic go up by 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and reached to peak at 2013 with 10000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by women.
However
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
at this library by females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
moderately
between 2013 and 2014. In the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of the process, the figures of
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books
that were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by women were equal to half of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
were
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read
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. This quantity was approximately 7000 books.

The data of
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books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by both genders at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Burnaby
Public Library during the four years period of time was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
by the
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line
chart. After four years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
higher and higher figures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
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IELTS academic THE NUMBER OF BOOKS READ BY MEN AND WOMEN AT BURNABY PUBLIC LIBRARY

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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