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The provided pie charts compare the expenses on five different categories namely housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services between Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The provided pie charts compare the expenses on five different categories namely housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services between Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. 860a5
The provided pie charts compare the expenses on five different categories namely housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services between Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Overall, it can be seen clearly from the charts that the percentage of housing in Japan and Malaysia accounted for the most expenditures đâu có đâu, bên Japan là other goods and services mà Trinh, while the expenses on health care held the smallest rate in both two countries. The proportion of money spent on housing and food was highest in both Japan and Malaysia. The expenses on housing in Japan made up 21%, lower than that in Malaysia with 34% in total spent the majority of their budget? ? . 24% was paid out on food in Japan, while the rate comprised 27% inof Malaysia. The expenses on transport accounted for 20% in Japan and this number was twice as much as that of Malaysia. Healthcare made up the least amount of spending at least and resembled in both two countries around 3% to 6%. Other goods and services held the large rate, which took up 29% in Japan and 26% in Malaysia.
The provided pie charts compare the expenses on five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories
namely
housing, transport, food, health care and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services between
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Japan
and Malaysia in the year 2010.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
from the charts that the percentage of housing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia accounted for the most expenditures
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đâu
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có
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đâu
,
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bên
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Japan
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là
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services
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mà
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Trinh
, while the expenses on health care held the smallest rate in both two countries.

The proportion of money spent on housing and food was highest in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia. The expenses on housing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
made up 21%, lower than that in Malaysia with 34% in total spent the majority of their budget? ?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
24%
was paid
out on food in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, while the rate comprised 27%
Possible spelling mistake found.
inof
Malaysia.

The expenses on transport accounted for 20% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and this number was twice as much as that of Malaysia. Healthcare made up the least amount of spending at least and resembled in both two countries around 3% to 6%. Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services held the large rate, which took up 29% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and 26% in Malaysia.
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IELTS academic The provided pie charts compare the expenses on five different categories namely housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services between Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The provided pie charts compare the expenses on five different categories namely housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services between Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.