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The provided pie chart information about qualification graduate in particular nation from 1980 to 2008

The provided pie chart information about qualification graduate in particular nation from 1980 to 2008 p1Roy
The provided pie charts illustrate the information about the ratio of 6 different kind of qualifications graduation in one particular nation between 1980 and 2008. Overall, it is manifest that, the highest proportion of first degree art qualification in starting year, which dropped through the given period, while pHD science show inclined with the passage of time. Moreover, masters science remained stable both years. To commence with, a quarter of the graduation held in first degree art in 1980, which decreased and stood at 12% in in 2008. Likewise, the ratio of first degree science graduations were 19% in beginning year and declined with 9% in 2008. However, master science graduate were no changed in both years. Moving further, masters arts graduates were 12% in 1980, which growth by 1% in 2008. Furthermore, pHD science graduates were 13%, it and climbed moderately and reached at 30% in 2008. At last, 2% PhD arts graduates in starting period but after 28 years, it accounted for 7%.
The provided pie charts illustrate the information about the ratio of 6
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kind' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kinds".
kind
of qualifications graduation in one particular nation between 1980 and 2008.

Overall
, it is manifest that, the highest proportion of
first
degree
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art
qualification in starting year, which dropped through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, while
Possible spelling mistake found.
pHD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
inclined with the passage of time.
Moreover
, masters
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science
remained stable both years.

To commence with, a quarter of the graduation held in
first
degree
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art
in 1980, which decreased and stood at 12%
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
2008.
Likewise
, the ratio of
first
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
graduations were 19% in beginning year and declined with 9% in 2008.
However
, master
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
were no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in both years.

Moving
further
, masters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were 12% in 1980, which growth by 1% in 2008.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pHD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were 13%, it and climbed
moderately
and reached at 30% in 2008. At last, 2% PhD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in starting period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 28 years, it accounted for 7%.
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IELTS academic The provided pie chart information about qualification graduate in particular nation from 1980 to 2008

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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