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The provided bar graph delineates how many Japanese travelled abroad within 11 years from 1985 , while the line graph outlines the amount of tourists who went to Australia in the same period .

The provided bar graph delineates how many Japanese travelled abroad within 11 years from 1985, while the line graph outlines the amount of tourists who went to Australia in the same period. nXLYo
The provided bar graph delineates how many Japanese travelled abroad within 11 years from 1985, while the line graph outlines the amount of tourists who went to Australia in the same period. Overall it can be clearly seen that, there was upward trend in the number of Japanese visitors travelling abroad for the particular period it is also true for the Australia visiting travellers from Japan. Looking in to the details, in 1985 around 5 million Japanese citizens travelled to various countries, which kept on uplifting every year except in 1991. As figure for in 1987 represented approximately 7 million tourists from then on it went as high as 12 million within only 6 years. Ultimately, coming to 1995, about less than one in two million (15) tourists accomplished journey to foreign countries that was three times higher opposing to the previous a decade. The line graph outlines that, some 2% went to Australia in 1985. Afterwards this trend was in the increase, attaining an all time high of above 6% in 1993, apart from an unexpected 1%decreas in 1989, and went on rise for the rest of the period and finally resulted by 6%at the end of the period
The provided bar graph delineates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Japanese travelled abroad within 11 years from 1985, while the line graph outlines the amount of tourists who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to Australia in the same period.

Overall
it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, there was upward trend in the number of Japanese visitors travelling abroad for the particular period it is
also
true for the Australia visiting
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
from Japan.

Looking in to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in 1985 around 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Japanese citizens travelled to various countries, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on uplifting every year except in 1991. As figure for in 1987 represented approximately 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tourists from then on it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
as high as 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
within
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
6 years.
Ultimately
, coming to 1995, about less than one in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
(15) tourists accomplished journey to foreign countries that was three times higher opposing to the previous a decade.

The line graph outlines that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
2%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to Australia in 1985. Afterwards this trend was in the increase, attaining an
It appears that a hyphen is missing in the adjective "all-time"
all time
high of above 6% in 1993, apart from an unexpected 1%decreas in 1989, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
on rise for the rest of the period and
finally
resulted by 6%at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
period
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IELTS academic The provided bar graph delineates how many Japanese travelled abroad within 11 years from 1985, while the line graph outlines the amount of tourists who went to Australia in the same period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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