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the proportion of housing choices of citizens in 3 various UK cities in 2005

the proportion of housing choices of citizens in 3 various UK cities in 2005 gxe51
The given bar chart describes the proportion of housing choices of citizens in 3 various UK cities in 2005. Looking at the chart, it is clear that the percentage of housing preferences of people in 3 cities were different. While London residents preferred staying at flats, the preferences of oxford people in 3 types were quite similar, exception terraced houses, Cambridge citizens tended to choose Detached houses. London residents had the highest interest in Flats at 60 percent, while the figures for Terraced and Simi - detached houses were nearly the same with 16 percent. Detached houses were the least interested in London residents, with only nearly 10 percent. Terraced houses were the least popular option with Oxford residents, at just under 20 percent. The numbers in the remaining 3 categories were quite similar, fluctuating around 27 percent. The percentage of Cambridge people selecting Detached houses was highest at 35 percent. The figures of those who chose Flats, Terraced houses, Simi - detached houses were 20 percent, 17 percent, 27 percent respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the proportion of housing choices of citizens in 3 various UK cities in 2005.

Looking at the chart, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of housing preferences of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 3 cities were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. While London
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residents
preferred staying at flats, the preferences of oxford
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 3 types were quite similar, exception terraced
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houses
, Cambridge citizens tended to choose
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Detached
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

London
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residents
had the highest interest in Flats at 60
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percent
, while the figures for Terraced and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Simi
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
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detached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
were
nearly
the same with 16
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percent
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Detached
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houses
were the least interested in London
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residents
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
nearly
10 percent.

Terraced
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houses
were the least popular option with Oxford
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residents
, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 20
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percent
. The numbers in the remaining 3 categories were quite similar, fluctuating around 27 percent.

The percentage of Cambridge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Detached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
was highest at 35
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percent
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
figures of those who chose Flats, Terraced
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houses
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Simi
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
were 20
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percent
, 17
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, 27
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the proportion of housing choices of citizens in 3 various UK cities in 2005

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
172 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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