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The process shows the manufacturing of bricks

The process shows the manufacturing of bricks PWO1E
The diagram shows different stages of brick manufacturing for the building industry. Generally, the production involves seven stages, starting from the digging stage and ending at the delivery stage. At the first step of the manufacturing bricks is digging the clay with larger digger. Then, clay is passed through metal grid further, cut clay into the small pieces. In the third step, sand and water are mixed to make mixture of the building industry. Next step of the this process mixture is put on wire cutter to cut bricks and mould is used to give shape of bricks. After this, the shaped bricks are dried for 48 to 42 hours in drying chamber. Following this, bricks are transfered in kiln under high temperature 870 - 1300 c. Subsequent, bricks are moved through second kiln for heating whose has temperature 200 - 400 c. Apart from this, bricks are placed in drying own for two - three days to final finishing. Moreover, the delivery is the final step of bricks manufacturing and it is a complex process.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
manufacturing for the building industry.
Generally
, the production involves seven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
, starting from the digging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
and ending at the delivery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
. At the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
of the manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
is digging the clay with larger digger. Then, clay
is passed
through metal grid
further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
clay into the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pieces. In the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, sand and water
are mixed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mixture of the building industry.
Next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
of
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "this" is left.
the this
process mixture
is put
on wire cutter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to give shape of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
. After this, the shaped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are dried
for 48 to 42 hours in drying chamber. Following this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "transferred", the past tense form of the verb 'transfer'?
transfered
in kiln under high temperature
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
870 - 1300
c. Subsequent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
through second kiln for heating whose has temperature
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
200 - 400
c. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are placed
in drying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
for two
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
three days to final finishing.
Moreover
, the delivery is the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
manufacturing and it is a complex process.
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IELTS academic The process shows the manufacturing of bricks

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
176 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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