Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the process diagram shows the way in which pears are prepared for the retail market

the process diagram shows the way in which pears are prepared for the retail market JLadD
The diagram illustrates how the canned pears are produced. Overall, it is noticeable that there are 14 main stages in the process of canning the pears, beginning with the fruits are picked by hand and ending with the finished pears can are transported to the customers. First of all, all the pears are picked by hands. Then, these are directly transported to the factory. Next, the fruits will be washed to remove all the dust and then moving to check the quality to ensure its condition are all good. Following this, the pears will be stored in the cold temperature. subsequently, the fruits will be given a weighed then removed all the skin before cutting into suitable slices. Next, they are ready to put into cans then sealed. The next step is that all the cans will be sterilizing and then it will be labeled. Subsequently, these cans are moved to the storage before dispatching to the supermarkets and shops for sale.
The diagram illustrates how the canned pears
are produced
.

Overall
, it is noticeable that there are 14 main stages in the process of canning the pears, beginning with the fruits
are picked
by hand and ending with the finished pears
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
are transported
to the customers.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, all the pears
are picked
by hands. Then, these are
directly
transported to the factory.
Next
, the fruits will
be washed
to remove all the dust and then moving to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the quality to ensure its condition are all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Following this, the pears will
be stored
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
temperature.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
subsequently
, the fruits will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a weighed then removed all the skin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
cutting into suitable slices.
Next
, they are ready to put into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
then sealed. The
next
step is that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
will be sterilizing and then it will
be labeled
.
Subsequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the storage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dispatching to the supermarkets and shops for sale.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic the process diagram shows the way in which pears are prepared for the retail market

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
162 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    how sugar is produced from sugar cane
    The diagram illustrates how a common commodity, sugar, is produced by processing sugar cane, a popular tropical plant in Vietnam. The process comprises with seven steps, beginning with growing the plants and ending with the sugar product. The initial phase involves sugar canes which are cultivated ...
  • 6band
    Discuss about the Life cycle of a frog
    The given diagram illustrates the growth stages of a frog in its life cycle. Overall, before starting its life as an adult frog on land, every frog undergoes many developmental phases inside the water from egg to tadpole then into an adult. Firstly, the life cycle of a frog is started from eggs insi...
  • 6band
    Household expenditure by category in the UK
    The line graph gives a snapshot of the proportion of money spent on specific categories of living in United Kingdom throughout a 50-year period since 1957. Overall, there was a similarity in terms of uptrend between two sections: Transport and vehicles as well as Housing, while the others observed c...
  • 5.5band
    The diagram shows the processes of how aluminium is recycled.
    The diagram shows the processes of how aluminium is recycled. Recycling aluminium begins with people through used cans into the bin and ends with reusing them as cans which are made from 74% recycled aluminium. In the first step, people put used cans into the bin which is only for aluminium cans. N...
  • 6band
    the graphs below gives the information about meat and fish consumption
    The given graph compares the figure for weekly meat and fish consumption in… over a period of 25 years, starting from 1979 Overall, it is obvious that only the number of grams of chicken used grew over the years. On the other hand, the figures for beer, lamb and fish declined whilst the grams of fi...
  • 6band
    The bar chart shows the amount of sales generated from home broadband, telephones, and online film/music, the 3 best-selling products sold by Northcom, in the year 2000, 2015, and the estimation of year 2030.
    The bar chart shows the amount of sales generated from home broadband, telephones, and online film/music, the 3 best-selling products sold by Northcom, in the year 2000, 2015, and the estimation of year 2030. In the year 2000, revenue from home broadband and online film/music were dwarfed by the sa...





Get more results for topic:
  • the process diagram shows the way in which pears are prepared for the retail market