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The process diagram details the steps to produce pineapples.

The process diagram details the steps to produce pineapples. aEX9V
The ostensible process depicts the information about the entire number of stages which are essential to produce pineapples for selling purposes to overseas. First of all, the production of pineapples is begin in tropical climates in which average temperature in between 28 degree Celsius to 30 degree Celsius. Secondly, pineapples are harvested according to various sizes 26, 28 and 30cm (2kg) total in height and it is completed within entire 12 months period. In the subsequent step, pineapples are cleaned and separated from each other on the basis of small, medium and largest shapes. Nextly, tops of tiny and medium shaped pineapples are cut with the help of knife then bothers are rinds peeled. In the following step, the smaller one's are sent out through a juice extractor for obtaining pineapple juice, while medium sized are sliced and canned. Whereas, largest pineapples are merely washed, coated in wax. Finally, transported via ship to abroad for selling. Looking from an overall perspective, it can be readily apparent that there are number of steps which are involved in the production of pineapple and all are mandatory for this purpose.
The ostensible process depicts the information about the entire number of stages which are essential to produce pineapples for selling purposes to overseas.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the production of pineapples is
Consider using a past participle here: "begun".
begin
in tropical climates in which average temperature in between 28 degree Celsius to 30 degree Celsius.
Secondly
, pineapples
are harvested
according to various sizes 26, 28 and
These units don't seem to be compatible.
30cm (2kg)
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
total in height
and it
is completed
within entire 12 months period. In the subsequent step, pineapples
are cleaned
and separated from each other on the basis of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, medium and largest shapes.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
, tops of tiny and medium shaped pineapples are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of knife then bothers are rinds peeled. In the following step, the smaller
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
one's
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
out through a juice extractor for obtaining pineapple juice, while
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
medium sized
are sliced
and canned. Whereas,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
pineapples are
merely
washed, coated in wax.
Finally
, transported via ship to abroad for selling. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it can be
readily
apparent that there are number of steps which
are involved
in the production of pineapple and all are mandatory for this purpose.

IELTS academic The process diagram details the steps to produce pineapples.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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